Lately, the idea of Porn has been a hotly debated topic especially in 2016 with the state of Utah and the GOP labeling porn as a “public health crisis.”
Um, what? WHAT??
Public health crisis?! Really, you fucking idiots. Okay, rage rant go!
What about Michigan and all the goddamn LEAD in the potable drinking water that’s causing poor kids to be born with birth defects and other shitty maladies? Oh! What about those portable killing machines called GUNS and the fucking nutbars who wield them to kill innocent people on what seems like a weekly basis? What about cancer? Opioid addiction? Antibiotic resistant bacteria? CLIMATE CHANGE. POLLUTION. OBESITY. HEART DISEASE. TERRORISM?!
You must realize that everyone has an socio/political agenda these days that aggressively excludes facts altogether in favor of inciting fear and pushing dormant buttons of hate and outlandish, outdated and misguided bias. And while we’re all staring at the shit that the Powers That Be are trying so very hard to stick to the wall, there’s a swell of water collecting under our collective feet as the ship sinks even further.
Okay, heavy-handed metaphors aside, let us tune into some welcome distraction in the form of glitzy beacons that everyone these days turns to in times of need: celebrities. Alright, even though I think it’s fucking backwards that our society worships celebrities instead of doctors, scientists, you know, people who are actively championing for change, these following progressive-thinking celebrities are smart enough to know that in the grand scheme of things, Porn is not evil. Porn does not deserve being shit-talked. Porn is ultimately FANTASY.
There are more legitimate scapegoats out there that are more deserving.
Here’s what 18 Celebrities talk about when they talk about PORN! Read on!
1.) Scarlett Johansson
“I think porn, like anything else, can be enjoyed. It can be productive for both men and women.”
– Scarlett Johansson
2.) John Mayer
“I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week.”
– John Mayer
3.) Cameron Diaz
“I love porn! You know what I love about hotels? How discreet they are. They always give you that little thing at the bottom – “Your room will be charged the same as any other room, no titles will be used.”
-Cameron Diaz
4.) Amanda Seyfried
“You can’t put a ban on porn. I mean, kids under age are still drinking. It just makes it that much more powerful. It’s freedom. You should be free to watch it whenever you want.”
-Amanda Seyfriend
5.) Joseph Gordon-Levitt
“Pornography is a huge, huge part of our media culture. The message Don Jon is trying to bring to light — and make fun of — is reducing people, especially women, to nothing but sex objects. It happens in music videos, TV shows, movies, and magazines, and so many commercials. Whether it’s rated X or approved by the FCC to sell Doritos, the message is the same.”
-Joseph Gordon-Levitt on Don Jon
6.) Miley Cyrus
“Guys watch too much porn. Those girls don’t exist. They’re not real girls. And that’s like us watching romance movies. That’s girl porn, because, like, those guys do not exist.”
-Miley Cyrus
7.) Amy Poehler
“I like my porn like my comedy: Done by professionals, women who are at the top of their game. So, I like professional ladies who are enjoying themselves. I’m not an amateur person. I want everybody to look good and be good at their jobs.”
-Amy Poehler
8.) Lily Allen
“When I travel around the world, there often isn’t anything to watch on TV, especially when they don’t speak English. But watching porn is fine as it doesn’t need words. It’s sort of universal. I watch a lot of it.”
-Lilly Allen
9.) Dita Von Teese
“You shouldn’t be getting to the porn conversations until well into the relationship, until you feel like you want to spice things up and discover more about each other and talk more about your taste … I once dated someone who asked, ‘What kind of porn do you like?’ Then I told him, and he was totally put off by it. If you’re going to go there, you have to decide that your fantasies are a safe space to go wherever you want. And just because you like watching a certain type of porn doesn’t mean you want to do it. And I think men, especially young men, can be quite insecure about those types of things.”
-Dita Von Teese
10.) Aubrey O’Day
“I love porn ... I watch YouPorn. I watched Jenna Jameson before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, ‘Oh no!’ I had to turn it off. It was horrible.“
-Aubrey O’Day
11.) Kid Rock
“I don’t FaceTweet or whatever people do. I understand that I’m the old guy now. I turn on my computer and look at porn a little bit, see what’s going on in the news, but that’s about it. I’m comfortable with that.”
-Kid Rock
12.) Rashida Jones
“I have no problem with porn … The problem with me is that there’s no regulation industry. The average age now where someone watches their first porn is 11, and that would be fine except to say ‘porn’ is such a broad term, like porn can be anything from like softcore and like mellow to like hardcore, violent, torture porn, which you know … For somebody to learn about sex from porn I think is really dangerous. And I think that happens a lot.”
-Rashida Jones
13.) Kanye West
“I look at porn, but I still only trust manual DVD porn purchases.”
-Kanye West
14.) Jenni “JWoww” Farley
“Internet porn is pretty much keeping our relationship together.”
-Jenni “JWoww” Farley
15.) Khloe Kardashian
“I love porn. I’m all for porn.”
-Khloe Kardashian
16.) Shia LaBeouf
“I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie … It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.”
-Shia LaBeouf
17.) Sasha Grey
“When we sit down to watch pornography, we know it’s a fantasy and we know it’s something that we’re using as escapism. We do have a distorted view of our fantasies in society, but that’s because we don’t talk about them enough. Whereas men maybe try to have sex with their girlfriends or wives like they saw a guy having sex with a girl in a porno movie, women also expect to get a fat diamond ring and a guy who doesn’t cheat on them. We’re taught to expect things that are just not possible. It’s not an exclusive problem to pornography, it’s a problem for human relations.”
-Sasha Grey
18.) Taylor Momsen
“If it’s a good sex tape, I’ll watch it. I like some adult stars. I have a couple favorites. But I will say this: That Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson video wasn’t very good. I wouldn’t fuck Tommy Lee … Guys can masturbate. So why can’t girls? Why is that such a hidden topic from the world?”
-Taylor Momsen
