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5 Porn Fantasies for Memorial Weekend

Porn is fantasy, and fantasy just went corporate. Contrary to what you may have heard, the internet was designed totally for porn. And kittens. Right now, you’re staring into a magical smut portal and you only need but spell out your favorite fantasy, smash the “Enter” button and – BLAMMO! – your desires are made into instant, streaming reality.

Check out FIVE smoking-hot fuck fantasies from Porn.com!

1.) The Teacher’s Pet

One of the most improbable porn scenarios ever, especially in this day and age, this fantasy usually involves a hot, whore biscuit of a co-ed getting laid for grades. In this scene, ditzy teen Mary Jane Johnson gives up some ass to pass her class. Not original by any means, but I know you don’t care, Mr. Pants-Around-the-Ankles.

 

 

2.) Operation MILF

You know you shouldn’t do it, but ignoring her only makes it worse. Only makes it hotter. You see her every day and despite yourself, you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to…no, no, must fight it. Fight the heat in your pants. Fight the fact that you would love nothing else but to hike up that floral summer skirt and fuck the shit out of your hottie step-mom

 

 

3.) Rub ‘N Tug

It’s three in the morning. Do you know where your dad is? Massage parlors a.k.a jerk joints are great. There’s always that bit of subdued excitement when you’re buck-ass nude save for a towel and there’s a hot masseuse rubbing you down. Is she going to touch my penis? Fuck, I should have trimmed. Uh-oh. The only money in my wallet is Canadian Tire money. 

Instead of worrying about your exit strategy that involves juking past a door-sized henchman named Mongo, just check out our own massage porn. Free of charge.

 

4.) Hookers

Hookers are basically porn stars minus the “star” part. These ladies of the night don’t care about what you look like, how much money you make, or how big your dick is; they just want to pop your weasel and peace out with your crumpled-up bills or if your name is Jerry Springer, a personal cheque. Do yourself a favour and get your hooker shenanigans from us, because you gotta ask yourself: “Do I really wanna be on COPS?”

 

 

5.) The Gym Pick Up

Every guy has thought about this. You’re knocking out your last set, but it’s your peripheral vision that’s really getting the workout. From the corner of your eye, Spandex Spice has been driving you insane using that definitely-invented-by-a-dude resistance machine that spreads legs. Fuck monokinis. Sports bras and yoga pants is where it’s at.

 

 

 

 

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