2003-07-18 Can’t believe that I wrote this more than 6 years ago…
Okay, so I have never seen one episode of the “Sopranos”, HBO’s hottest series chronicling the life of an Italian Mafia family. I have however seen ALL FOUR episodes of the Sopornos! Tabitha Stevens and Kendra Jade are the hotties in the original. We start out the show with casino owner Bobby Soporno telling us about how no one in his club keeps their money. They either lose it gambling, or they lose it to the girls that hang out there and Bobby gets a cut of both! Here is a brief synopsis of the first four episodes I watched, and then you will find an exclusive interview with the famous, talented, tough guy Rob Spallone who plays Bobby.
Bobby is not just the boss though; he is also the resident psycho (aren’t all bosses a bit nuts?) His extremely hot temper is not helped by the fact that he thinks his own cousin is stealing money from him. Everyone in the family is cheating on everyone else. Just like Rodney Dangerfield, Bobby feels like he doesn’t get no respect. He beats up the limo driver and his cousin.
Bobby beats up anyone can get his hands on. Talk about an anger management problem. Even with help from his psychotherapist, Bobby still wants to kill everybody. Rob Spallone is perfect in the role of tough guy Bobby. To tell you the truth I don’t think Rob is acting. That’s probably why he won the 2000 AVN award for best non-sex actor. I have to mention the scene with the two girls having sex on top of the craps table, hot, hot, hot!
The first movie did so well it began a series. Sopornos 2 stars Jewel De’Nyle and Lola. This time Bobby decides to try his hand at making porno movies. He got rid of some of the troublemakers and hired some good guys and he’s now on medication to keep him calmer. He’s bought the strip club “Bada Boom”, nice place, hot girls!
Bill Margold has a cameo appearance as bartender, no wait, oh my God, forget that, Bill is doing a BJ scene. The beautiful Jewel manages the club along with bossing around the staff. Jewel likes to be the boss. She’s even in charge of the two guys DP’ing her! Bobby beats up Director Creme Rinze and then loans him $25,000 to make a porn movie. Bobby heads over to AVN to make sure his movie gets a good review. Then he shoots and kills the cook for f-cking his partner’s wife.
There is a bar brawl with a bunch of bikers, Bobby and his goons kick their asses, then Jewel saves the day by pulling out a revolver and removing all the rif raf. Bobby gets arrested this time. Dave Cummings plays the cop. Oh, and there is a whole bunch of hot sex in between all the action. Sopornos 3. Bobby’s back from jail because they had to throw out the case. Lack of witnesses. (Their bodies are probably buried in cement somewhere) Bobby’s got a new boat and a new easy way to off people!
First up Bobby kills some rat by shooting him and throwing him overboard. Bobby is also dealing with the Russians who are trying to take over an old friend’s clothing business. And guess who plays our favorite spy? The beautiful and sexy Nikita Denise. She takes one of Bobby’s gang out to the warehouse to break him in with a sizzling BJ. The “Moolies” are trying to strong-arm money out of the friend’s line of clothes, so Bobby decides to take care of it. And he does, Bang!
He also decides to take care of the manager of the clothing warehouse who he doesn’t like. I guess Julie Meadows’ charactor won’t be appearing in the next edition because she is dead! Bobby is right though, because Julie is in cahoots with the Russians. Bobby asks his shrink for some stronger medication. We all hope he gets it!
Sopornos 4 Bobby thinks everything is going quite well, everyone is getting along and he’s finally gotten his daughter Tawny (played by Tawny Roberts) off to college. Problem is that Tawny is getting off quite a bit AT college! Getting off with many different guys including one of Bobby’s gang, Tony. Bobby finally gets some of his own medicine when during a shootout he takes two bullets. Of course if you have to get rushed to the hospital in an ambulance the best kind would be one where the two female EMT’s decide to f-ck each other while you watch! Bobby is now in the hospital recovering and Tawny is getting it on with his doctor, talk about bedside manners! Seems Bobby is having trouble sleeping because he keeps having nightmares that everybody is f-cking everyone else. Truth is, they are!
Look for Sopornos 5 and 6 in the near future. They are being filmed as I type this….
Rob Spallone is a well-known and respected part of the adult industry. His roles include producer, director, actor and mentor. In some cases you can even add protector to that list. He’s saved many an ass in his time. Rob is the guy behind VCA’s “Sopornos” movie series. He also has the staring role of Bobby Soporno. I was lucky enough to talk to Rob as he was on his way to filming the next episodes….
Xcitement: Hi Rob. What are you up too?
Rob: Working hard. Getting ready to shoot Sopornos five and six.
X: All right! Who is starring?
R: One is starring Stevie. The other one is starring Sunset Thomas.
X: Cool. Good choices. Are you going to be on the box-over? I don’t like that you are not on the second one.
R: Of course I’ll be on these. I was out of town when they shot that cover for the second episode. So did you like the movies? Was it as good as the “Sopranos show?
X: I loved the movies! I have never seen the Sopranos.
R: Oh, come on! About a month and a half ago on the E channel they did a whole two-hour special on the Sopranos. About thirty minutes into the show they go “even the adult industry jumped in on it” and they show a thirty-second clip of me (as Bobby) talking to the shrink. At the end of the show they showed about five minutes running all the scenes of me beating people up. My phone started ringing off the hook. Everyone is saying “ I saw you on E, I saw you on E”. So I called up E and they sent me some copies.
X: You are perfect casting for this movie.
R: I won the award for the first one (AVN Best Non-sexual Actor). And I didn’t win again. I wasn’t even nominated. So I asked someone about a year ago and they said “ Rob we can’t give you the award for the same part.” So I said I will have someone write me a script where I play a fag and I will show you I can act. You missed a great party last night by the way.
X: What party?
R: Larry Flynt had a party with VCA. You know that Hustler just bought the company. It was in Larry’s office. Nice party.
X: So were you behaving yourself?
R: Yes I was there with my wife on my best behavior.
X: You are such a sweet family man, but nobody knows about that about you.
R: Ahhh. Don’t tell no body.
X: Well I can see why they say you are playing yourself in these movies. You are such a thug from New York.
R: They say Rob you are just playing yourself.
X: You are such a Sweet thug though. You aren’t coming down here anytime soon are you?
R: No. It’s too hot for me down there. So you enjoyed the movies?
X: I thought they are fabulous. You are so great. I love when you beat people up. That was the best part when you beat the chauffeur up and slammed him in the car door.
R: I loved that!
X:You get out all your aggravation.
R: And I really do it!
X: You really beat the sh-t out of him?
R: Oh yeah! That kid was black and blue for about a month. I had to pay him extra!
X: (cracking up) That is so YOU! So you take a Producer’s credit in the series right?
R: Yeah, that’s all I take.
X: What exactly does a Producer do?
R: I put the whole movie together. The stories are all mine. I come up with the ideas for the plots. I hire everybody.
X: What does your family think about you being a “porn star”?
R: My wife hates it. HATES IT! She says “You are putting yourself on the box, you gotta use your real name, you are a f-cking asshole your whole life, you like hanging out with these girls. Everyday I hear it. Now I hear it even more because I am starting to shoot these particular movies this week.
X: So she hates the Sopornos, huh? You should put her in the movie!
R: Let me tell you something, in the first one, I started at $500 and got up to $1500 for her to come running out of the house throwing pots and pans at me. She wouldn’t do it. And she would be perfect. Shayla LaVeaux played my wife in the last one, where I was in the hospital and she threw everything at me.
X: Your wife would have been great in that role.
R: She would have been the best.
X: Because she has real life experience throwing things at you.
R: That’s it. She does that every night.
X: So when are the new ones going to be coming out?
R: Oh, I don’t know a release date yet. I am at the body shop where we are going to be shooting. I got a boxing gym for Sunday.
X: So what plots are coming up?
R: I am going to own a boxer and tell him he has to take a dive. In the other one I am going to have a chop shop type of thing.
X: I love this series. The stories are interesting, the sex is hot, and it’s funny.
R: We have a lot of fun making them. Everybody has been calling for the last two weeks because they know I am going to be shooting Sopornos.
X: Well Rob, I am just glad that you are my friend! I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side.
R: Yeah, I can be a pain in the ass.
X: But you are a really good, loyal, caring friend. You are gorgeous. Your wife is gorgeous. You are funny as hell. I am looking at the box cover of number three and you are hot looking, you Mafioso.
R: I love you! When will you be in town?
X: Not till January. I am coming to the AVN awards. I’ll see you then. And I love you too!