By Angelica Lane
I have always been told if you have nothing good to say, then don’t say anything at all. Whoever told me that can kiss my ass. I myself have had enough of every two weeks hearing about how another celebrity has got themselves into some trouble by trusting a girl with a cute little smile. What is the thing that clicks in your head at that moment?
As a woman, I do not understand what is going on in the back of your mind. I know you think to yourself, “I can’t do this, I can’t cheat on my wife”. Then the girl talks to you more, and tells you with that cute smile, “You can trust me”. You have a few more drinks, and at that point the dumb part of your brain starts saying “Yeah, I may be able to trust her”. You start making stupid jokes, and she starts with that dingbat laugh and giggles. Then you order another drink and she says to you, “So, you alone tonight? Is the wife around?”
At that point, you make the decision that you soon will regret. But then you start talking to yourself, “Man, if I do it this way, and I take her to this place, I may be able to get away with this”. You are not realizing that this whole time, you have been holding a talk with yourself and you find yourself looking down and talking to your penis. How come when you become a star with your talent, you don’t look down and talk to your penis to make decisions? How about when you pull up to a traffic light and it turns red, you don’t look down and ask your penis, “Should I stop”? Ok just one more, and this one is good. When you are in divorce court, will you ask your penis for advice? NO! At this point, who is going to trust you?
How will you know someone is with you for you, and not your material things? Hey, she came in the relationship knowing you cheated in your last relationship. I know she will change you, right? Hey girls, you may be able to change him a little, but guess what? You won’t be able to change his best friend, the same person he talks to when he gets in trouble, HIS PENIS. We, as a society, have always had this issue, but not as bad as we have had it the past few years. Do I feel sorry for Sandra or Elin? Of course, we all do. But the guys they have been married to have proven they are smarter than what their actions show. I mean, really? Jesse turned building motorcycles into an empire. He didn’t do this by talking to his penis. He did it by using his head and making smart decisions.
Tiger did not become the best golfer in the world by talking to his penis. Finally, how about Ashton and Demi? I just love these two as a couple. Ashton had a show called Punk’d, and what did he do? His whole show was to hide and trick people. His talent for pulling pranks shook up Hollywood. Stars would look over their shoulders to make sure he was not there. I completely don’t want to believe he did this. Maybe a few text messages here and there, but I just don’t believe he cheated. Have you seen the girl? REALLY? She has no clue how bad Demi would just kick the crap out of her. She should not be out looking for an agent. She should be out trying to find a bodyguard in case Demi runs across her. We all know Demi has more class than that, but a scorned woman is a scorned woman. This is what blows my mind.
We all know a guy who thinks with his penis and has become a millionaire by doing this. This person I speak of is ripped apart daily by preachers and our government. This man is Howard Stern. He is surrounded by naked women almost every day, practically handed to him 24/7. He had a very new and naked Jenna Jameson in his studio, among other hot porn stars, and he did nothing. People have dug and dug trying to find something on him. NOTHING TO BE FOUND. He has been married twice and we still see how faithful he has been. Let’s just say for a moment he had fun on the side. We don’t know about it. WHY? Because the man knows at the end of the day his penis is not the thing to be listening to, and if he starts thinking with it, he locks himself in his office or room and takes care of it himself. I’m guessing he’s thinking of me. Sorry Beth, it’s not cheating.
I had the pleasure back in 2009, when I was with the owner of A! Entertainment Tony Batman. He introduced me briefly to Dennis Hoff, the owner of the World Famous Bunny Ranch in Nevada. We spoke for a few minutes, took a photo, hugged and moved on. What did I learn in that brief conversation with Dennis? He was genuine. If you go to his place, you bet your ass that what happens at The Bunny Ranch stays at The Bunny Ranch, and if a girl breaks the cardinal rule and opens her mouth, she is done. We all just saw that happen with him. He fired a girl for opening her mouth. He will not tolerate it. His business depends on privacy.
To all of you who are thinking about cheating, DON’T DO IT. But for those of you who still decide to take that chance, you need to go to www.bunnyranch.com, get a hold of Dennis and explain what you want. Trust me, he’s going to keep it private. And hey, you won’t have to worry about the cashier who is trying to get her 15 minutes of fame by ratting you out to the gossip magazines. She has been eliminated, along with your huge problems. Guys, there are so many ways to do this. Learn from all the others, they all have one thing in common. They didn’t delete their damn text messages. Email me, I will hook you up with the damn Bunny Ranch.
So I finally figured out how I can get my 15 minutes of fame and get paid, without all the drama. I’m going right to the head of the best P.R. company. I’m just going to have an affair with Harvey Levin with TMZ. Why? Simple, he has money. He is the managing editor of the #1 Hollywood news show, TMZ, and he’s a former attorney. So I could have my affair with Harvey, we can wake up the next morning, have a cup of coffee, talk about the settlement, and we can work out how he is going to promote me, and CASH IN!! See all the time I just saved. So as you just view me as an Adult Star, at least when I’m done, I give the male talent a hug, we collect our money and say goodbye. We in the Adult Industry don’t get 15 minutes of fame. We get about 45 minutes of fame with every scene we do. So if its fame you’re after, become an Adult Star. If it’s a ton of money you want, GET A DAMN JOB LIKE THE REST OF US.
Stop hiding behind your attorney talking about how you have been taken advantage of and you want paid for your trouble. At the end of the day, some of us Adult Stars have not ruined a marriage, we may have just helped a marriage. Maybe we taught a couple to learn how to explore and pleasure each other by viewing our scenes. Ok, maybe hubby is in room doing himself watching one of our scenes. He’s not out cheating. My advice is to the girls doing what they do and opening their mouths, if you think one minute one of these stars would divorce their wives for you, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND. It’s not going to happen. Look, a few are divorced now, are they with you? Did they come calling after the divorce? NOPE. He was looking for a booty call. He didn’t mind buying you things if you kept your mouth shut, but that was not enough for you. To you men, enough is enough. How much more has to happen to you and your friends before you realize, these girls will not keep their mouths shut, FOR ANY REASON! They will rat you out in a heartbeat. Hope this helps a little, but I had to vent. I have had enough. Just for the record, I have not met Harvey Levin.
Dennis Hoff was not available for comment upon deadline due to scheduling conflicts. I will interview him for follow up story.
*Note: The opinions expressed by Angelica Lane, do not represent the opinions or policies of Pornstarsafterhours.com or its editor.