I borrowed Sophia Mound’s title, Bad Ass Frank on Datting. I didn’t copy her article here because it’s mostly a press release from Frank and then her boring comments. Of course the spelling and grammar are pretty comical as usual, but how many times can someone use an apostrophe “s” for a plural and still make you laugh? I don’t know, maybe a hundred? I think we reached that about 4 articles ago.
So instead Bad Ass Frank and I did our own late night IM interview on DATTING-
Cindi (12:31:58 AM): Is datting done alone or with company?
Bad Ass (12:34:24 AM):I’m not a big fan of datting. In fact, I prefer frends with bennafitts.
Cindi (12:35:21 AM): k, if you had to dat someone, who would it be?
Bad Ass (12:37:02 AM): Ultimately I’m going to end up alone unless I find a way to Weird Science me the perfect girl. Other than that, I’d like to meet a 5 foot tall supermodel who cooks, cleans, swallows, and falls asleep early like me.
Cindi (12:38:41 AM): Damn, so would you dat me, if I fit the cook and clean only category? or maybe really just the cook category
Cindi (12:39:31 AM):I could fall asleep early if I drank enough alcohol i guess
Bad Ass (12:41:13 AM):No, the cleaning is non-negotiable. And considering that I’m a former binge drinking, blackout alcoholic, let’s go with a negatory on the boozing too. Not a big fan of the drunkards. I am quite attracted to meth addicts and Xanax junkies though. They’re sexy.
Cindi (12:41:40 AM):Guess I am out of the running. Would you dat Amy Winehouse?
Bad Ass (12:42:58 AM):I would, because she is rich, famous, and wildly fucked up. That’s my target demographic. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I’ll never truly be able to love a bitch that is so fucking busted that she looks like she’s been hit in the face with a bag of nickels.
Cindi (12:43:29 AM):Would you dat Sophia Mounds?
Bad Ass (12:45:25 AM): Who?
Cindi (12:46:22 AM): Never mind. Referring to your statement on frends with bennafitts- first what kind of fiends would be your first choice, and do they really have to do bennies and have fits?
Bad Ass (12:47:34 AM): My first choice would be 5 foot tall supermodels who cook, clean, swallow, and like to go to bed early. Then I get all the benefits without having to date. But I’d settle for a girl who isn’t psycho. Wait….
Bad Ass (12:47:52 AM):Ok, it took me a while to stop laughing after I typed that. We all know that crazy comes standard issue with a vagina.
Cindi (12:49:18 AM):I think you’d have a hard time finding a girl with all those quanities, that wasn’t psycho, but I wish you the best in your surch. Is there any ting you want to ad to are interview?
Bad Ass (12:53:15 AM):Allthoough I have historcly had truble finding the rite kind of gurl, I wont give up loking. Won day I know I will find tru luv and happyniss. I juss have to keep datting.
Cindi (12:53:51 AM): And I feel relly bad that i’m not the gurl of your dreams cuz I think ur hot. But I am hopping ur datting goes well. Thanks 4 taking to me
Bad Ass (12:54:21 AM): My pleshur.
For Entertainment purposes only, Frank and I are slightly smarter then we appear in this story. For more on Frank and his new book go to http://www.badassfrank.com/