Editorials

Body Part Of The Month: The Tongue


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The tongue is a muscle.  It is the primary organ of taste.  Much of the upper surface of the tongue is covered in taste buds.  It is sensitive and kept moist by saliva, and is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels.  In humans, a secondary function of the tongue is phonetic articulation.  Meaning, without one, we can’t say shit.

Of course, we all know a few people in Hollywood, or maybe just down the street from your house, or maybe someone at your work or school even, that we wish didn’t have a tongue, cause they prove that this muscle is just down right disgusting.

Growing up, I was fascinated with the idea of a french kiss.  When I found out it was tongue on tongue action, I was so excited to get with a girl that was willing to do that.  In grade school there was this girl that was always known as “The French Kisser” and all of us guys, would try and get with her every summer.  It was awesome.

Now I look at the tongue as this real life monster living inside someone’s mouth.  Why?

Because of morons like Miley Cyrus and Gene Simmons.  Tongues are gross.  Specifically these tongues.  Because we’ve seen them too many times.  More often than not, these tongues in particular are seen way too much. Give it a rest. Please.

And while we’re on the subject, the older Miley Cyrus gets, the more she looks like Justin Bieber.  It’s just bad for business.

Seriously though, what’s with this chick? Why is she always sticking that damn tongue out?  Is this her new thing?  Does she really think that this could be a trend?  Walking around looking like a camel or a donkey with the tongue sticking out…?


And now for some tongues that WE ACTUALLY APPRECIATE!!!!

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