Male performer Christian posts on XPT:
Steve, i am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and pretend that you werent making a reference to my ability as an educator. i value my time in that field, i loved teaching adolescents not just about history or government, but about life and the future. the money was just so bad, and living in a small town when you know you are meant for the city created an intense desire to leave. and so off to vegas i went. i made more money standing outside a nightclub checking ID’s 4 nights a week than i did teaching the youth of this country. thats not right.
Second, i have never been sexually confused. Trust me, i know exactly what i want to do at all times. no regrets about anything.
As for your larger question, of course there are times i regret my decision to enter this business. this is a lonely life in a lot of respects, and any performer who tells you otherwise is kidding themselves. this is a business where you have many acquaintances, but no real friends. where you know in the back of your head that 99.92% of the people you interact with would screw you over to put more money in their own pocket. you cant talk to civilians about everyday life in the business, b/c they cant relate and dont understand. you cant date civilians because you either have to use a condom for every sexual experience for the entire length of your relationship (which is not very intimate), or not wear a condom and expose them to all the risks you are exposed to as a performer.
i can totally understand why people attempt to leave the business sometimes. i know shelley lubben gets a lot of flack on this board, but sometimes i think there are girls who need to find a way out of this business. maybe shelley isnt the answer, but they do need someone to show them the way out. as a male performer, you see girls constantly come into the business and then leave for various reasons (and guys as well). along the way, you see massive drug use, serious mental problems, the inability to save more than $2.56 on a weekly basis, ridiculously stupid boyfriend decisions, and the ability to lie so much you actually start believing your own horseshit. as someone who doesnt do drugs or drink massive amounts of alcohol, i get the depressing perspective of watching these people self-destruct with extreme clarity.
But as a realist, i know that i am not going anywhere. i have worked so hard to get where i am now. you guys know the struggles i have gone through on this board and in real life. i havent had a single week in about 2 years where the girl has changed on me, or my scene cancelled, etc. i know that i made my own bed, so i dont bemoan my fate, but it still has some erosion on your psyche. but i have worked 25-30 times a month for each of the last 18 months. i have successfully carved out my own little slice of pie in this business, and i am going to fight to keep that piece for as long as i can. why on earth would i change directions as i continue to be on the upper strata of wanted and valued male performers?
Finally, perhaps i paint too gloomy a picture than it actually is. In all honesty, its tough to bitch about a profession where i never work before 11am, my work consists of having an orgasm with a smoking hot girl, i get paid that day, and i am usually done by 3pm at the latest. i take off work when i want to, i travel constantly, and i have never fought traffic into work ever. i guess there are positives and negatives that come with every job.
There you go, perhaps a lengthier answer than necessary, but i am up early here in london, going to the pool for a workout, and then off to lunch with a friend, then running/cycling at night (i made a rash and perhaps idiotic decision to do the Ironman Triathlon again in April 2008), dinner with an english porn girl, and early bedtime for my early call time for my scene on tuesday. good times.
I have been queried numerous times about writing a book about the business or my time in the business. i have not dismissed this idea, but i just dont have the time to devote to writing massive lengths of words at this time. (translation: it would cut into the 6 hours of world of warcraft i play each day). but i do keep a journal and a record of every day for the last 3 years, so at some point a book will be written.
i am hesistant to believe that kyle stone is writing a book. at least one longer than 20 pages. i have met kyle stone maybe a dozen times. he does strike me as articulate, nor does his work ethic really impress me. kyle stone never adapted to the onslaught of new male performers in the business about 5 years ago. instead of changing the way he did business (work out, attend parties to keep your name out there, and most importantly cultivate relationships with relevant people (the ones who hire you)) all kyle stone did was rail about the fact that he was proud of never using viagra ever. i find this curious, dave cummings has said this as well. not only do i not care, but there isnt a single director/producer either who cares. thats like barry bonds saying he hits homeruns that go into mccovey cove consistently rather than myself who hits line drive home runs that barely get over the wall. the point is we both get to run around the bases. capiche?