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Dear Mike South, The Fat Lady Has Sung

Yes, Mike South is still around. Like Monica Foster, I had forgotten he was even alive until a couple days ago. Here I was minding my own business building my fantasy sports empire when I get this text:

SouthNewpost-350x520

And of course, I let curiosity get the better of me and went over to see what everyone’s favorite senior citizen was saying.

Mike is writing about the exact same things he was a month ago, 6 months ago, and 5 years ago…with me and Whiteacre being the exception. Using my little Orphan Annie top secret decoder ring I was able to break into South’s laptop and get a look into the Mike South calendar.

Monday– Write about Manwin, make up secret high level source inside its administration, quote them as saying indictments will be handed down soon, never follow up on this as Madrid might think im a fraud. Pretend to pro porn and paste my link all over GFY in hopes of getting some Alexa clicks. Tell everyone some stupid story about when I was younger, make people believe my life is good.

Tuesday– FSC has to be stopped,  I know they’re corrupt and wanna destroy porn, call AHF for some intel then make up a story about Super Gonorrhea killing kittens in porn valley. Remind everyone I’m the most connected guy in porn media, then create fake email accounts to email myself new story ideas containing anonymous quotes.

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