Did you try the “spider-monkey” sex position yet?

The recent months have seen several sex positions go viral. Whether it is The Hook or Queening, there are a whole lot of styles for couples who want to add some spice in their bedroom to try. It appears that if you think about it, there is a sex style by that name. If there isn’t, you can expect there will be one in the near future because the standard missionary is no longer good enough for some people. The latest to take the internet by storm is called the “Spider-Monkey.” The name itself sounds scary, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with spiders or monkeys.

If things are running a little dry in your bedroom, the new saucy position might be something you want to try. Caution: this is NOT for the faint-hearted.

How to pull it off

From the above illustration, this new position is a bit weird, and many have struggled to get their heads around it, literally speaking. The position involves the man standing up with his back to the woman while the woman will be doing a headstand behind him. According to, the female partner’s legs “are bent at the knees and spread on sides” while the man “takes his mistress on her feet with his hands, helping her in such a way to be in this position.”

Sounds easy, right? Wrong. It is anything but. Still, penetration happens, and I’m reliably informed it’s deep. Offering further explanation on the style, Urban Dictionary actually calls it the Gut Crusher, apparently due to the intense and deep penetration that occurs.

I would normally recommend not trying this at home, but if you were to try it, I can’t find a more suitable place. Have you tried the new style yet? As with many things involving your head, it is important always to put your safety first and not try the position unless you are confident it won’t break your neck (which is a possibility by the way). Try something easier maybe? You know what; try whatever the fuck you want. Just be safe out there.

What your favorite sex position says about you

Now that we are talking about sex positions, did you know that your favorite position says something about your personality in the sack? Thought you should know. Whether you are a missionary man or a doggy style devotee, you pick your favorite style according to the levels of pleasure and those mind shattering orgasms. On a subconscious level, however, this is what your favorite position says about you.


Simply put, this is sex 101. It is what we were taught sex should be like and the way we see it in movies and TV programs. I won’t even waste your time explaining how to pull it off.

The position maybe classic (or lazy for some), but according to sex therapist Ava Cadell, a missionary man might be a bit insecure and may actually “need reassurance by seeing his lover be responsive.

Lovers of the missionary may also like to take control in bed with the position giving the man the driving power. However, this also means that the man may not be confident about other styles in his arsenal because, in as much as the style is romantic and intimate, it is far from adventurous.


I haven’t met a man who hates doggy style. Some even argue that it is how we were supposed to have sex in the first place.

But sex therapists opine that a doggy style devotee “taps into his territorial animalistic instinct as king of the jungle” but also has fears of intimacy and is generally ‘unromantic.’ After all, no one attempts doggy because they want to whisper sweet nothings in their partner’s ear from behind. The style offers deep penetration, but little regarding intimacy.


There are many ways to pull this one off, but the woman is usually in full control.

Apparently, a man who prefers his female partner to saddle him is “confident in being submissive, but he can also be dominant when he enables her to reach her orgasm with deeper penetration.” There is no denying that the view from down there is fantastic, but you might want to flip her over and exercise some power shift occasionally. She will appreciate it.


Being associated with sleeping and cuddling, this position is undeniably intimate and mostly the go-to position for fellas with a soft spot.

Don’t get it twisted, men who love this position are far from wimps and are instead “passionate and eager to please their lover” according to Ava Cadell.

Tip: while in this position, you may reach over to stimulate her clitoris or occasionally switch to missionary for deeper penetration.


Whether hoisted on the kitchen counter or pressed against the wall, there is no shortage of places to have standing sex apart from the bed.

Guys who like this position are often adventurous and turned on by the idea of being naughty. The standing man is usually a “mischievous lover who gets a thrill out of getting caught, and wants to have as much fun as possible with little regard of the consequences.

There you have it.

Concluding remarks

Whichever position you choose, make sure both you and your partner are comfortable because some can be dangerous and might leave you with a fractured dick, the thought of which should make you cringe.

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