Editorials

Halloween Movies to Watch!

Everyone loves a good fright. Except for me. So what if I’m too pussy to watch Paranormal Activity 3, lest my friends see me involuntarily wet myself, or even worse, see me play a terrified, nerve-wracked game of peekaboo with the movie screen. Well, here’s a couple scary movies or not so scary movies that you may have not seen (a few have effectively scared the piss out of me.)

1.) Trick ‘R Treat (2007)

Already christened the new traditional Halloween movie by critics, Trick ‘R Treat weaves together four distinct, original stories into a clever, cinematic homage to the holiday itself. The movie is interesting because it revolves around the consequences of breaking old, folksy, Gremlin-esque Halloween traditions like: never put out a Jack-o-lantern on Halloween and always check your candy. Chock-full of supernatural elements and a solid cast featuring Anna Paquin and Brian Cox, Trick ‘R Treat acts as the ultimate Halloween tribute movie – it’s ghastly good fun in a creepy campfire kinda way.

2.) Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

Set in a dystopian future where everyone’s in debt to the government for their addiction to cosmetic surgery. And it’s a musical. I really couldn’t give a shit about musicals in general, haven’t seen any, not my cup of tea. BUT! Repo! The Genetic Opera is a horse of a different color. This movie is a schlocky, highly stylized rock opera that feels like it was put together with the blood, sweat and beers of an eccentric Transylvanian theater troupe. With notable appearances from Paris Hilton (happy accident), Anthony Steward Head and Paul Sorvino, Repo! is a weirdly stitched, gothed-out production that celebrates it’s b-movie glee with ultra-catchy tunes and unhinged gore.

 

3.) From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)

My favorite vampire movie of all time. The two biggest badasses in film, Tarantino and Rodriguez give you something totally unique and fucked up while remaining true to their grindhouse heritages. A pre-fame George Clooney plays a gun-toting criminal who’s hellbent on making it to Mexico before being caught by every law enforcement agency on the map. He’s just busted out of the clink with his psychotic brother in tow (Tarantino) and when things couldn’t get any worse – the script tosses in vampire strippers and the film, like its title, suddenly shifts from ultra-violent pulpy crime flick to a Who-will-survive-the-night kind of ordeal. This movie also happens to feature the hottest table dance ever put on celluloid.

4.) Tale of Two Sisters (2003)


This Korean horror film scared me up and down like a little schoolgirl. It’s about two sisters who move into a giant, cavernous house with their father and cruel step-mother. I just can’t stand cold, clammy dead Asian kids with blue skin howling and screeching at me. Relying on tortuous suspense and eerie minimalist scares, this movie left me pretty shell-shocked. You know you are a scared little bitch when you have to immediately put on something warm and fuzzy to get the gloomy dread out of your bones. Thank you for that, Veggie tales.

5.) The Eye (2002)

Not that polished dog turd with Jessica Alba. Refer to the Hong Kong original. Shot in cheap, but effective low-fi aesthetics, this 2002 flick centers around Mun, a blind Chinese violinist and how her life changes when she receives fresh eyes from a surprise donor. Utter confusion sets in for both you and Mun when she starts seeing mysterious apparitions floating around the fucking place. Goddamn you, faulty Chinese products! Deadly milk, fucked up children’s toys, and now cursed, ghost-seeing eye balls!

6.) True Blood XXX Porn.com TV Parody!

 

Come on, tell me you saw this coming…

Other recommendations: Session 9, Thirst, Let the Right One In, Cronos, Suspira, Near Dark, The Monster Squad, It, White Noise, Hellraiser, 28 Days Later, Anything Masters of Horror

 

 

 

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