Of COURSE I’m/was uncomfortable in my own skin, I would imagine that’s a big reason that I drank. Am I also an attention whore? Yeah, probably. Do I edit out bad photos of myself and only keep the good ones? Well duh– I’m a photographer, I’m a girl, and yes, I am vain. I imagine I will remain that way until years from now when I’m past the point of looking even remotely attractive, and then hopefully there will be more important things to care about (like children), and my looks won’t matter so much to me. In fact, I kinda look forward to that, it would be freeing.
Look I don’t deny that I have a myriad of character defects, just like you, just like everybody else on the planet. But the suggestion that I “made up” my alcoholism is not only absolutely ridiculous, but it just exemplifies how ignorant you are on the subject. You think I like having a dependence on alcohol? You think this is fun? There isn’t a day I wish to God that I wasn’t an alcoholic, and there isn’t a moment I wonder “why me?” But there are worse things in life– like cancer, as you mentioned. At least I have some control over my disease, and I am incredibly lucky in that respect. There are a million of other things that could be wrong with me, so in a way, I am grateful. The only reason I talk about it is because Luke outed me when I was in rehab, so when I came clean about it, I decided to remain open to the topic. I do this because there is always a chance that someone else who is battling an addiction might read my story, and not feel so alone. I know when I was struggling I was desperate to find anyone who understood what I was going through, and could tell me that I wasn’t completely crazy. I just wanted to know that I wasn’t the only one who had these inexplicable, self-destructive tendencies, and that there was something I could do about it. I’ve had several people privately contact me since I’ve “come out”, and it’s great to know that I might have helped them take one step closer to seeking treatment. If I can help one person then it’s worth all the insulting posts you can throw my way. So knock yourself out.
You can call me a “fake artist”, that is certainly subjective and you are entitled to your opinion, I don’t really care. But believe me when I say that my alcoholism is very, very real. And it’s no fucking picnic.