Few things worry any sexually active man more than not lasting ‘long enough’ in bed. It’s even worse because sexual difficulties are not exactly fun topics for many men, leaving many to fight their own devils. But the truth is, early ejaculation is a challenge that affects men from time to time. Studies have found that one-third of men aged 18-59 ejaculate earlier than they would like with their sexual partners. Of course, finishing early is not too big a problem, with research establishing that the average sex lasts 7.3 minutes.
Additionally, many women feel more than ten minutes of pure penile-vaginal penetration is just too much. But lasting three to seven minutes is simply inadequate. When cumming too soon becomes a source of distress, it makes it difficult for sexual partners to have a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.
This brings us to the all-important question: how can you last longer in bed? If you are grumbling about being a ‘Two Second Tom,’ read on and find out how you can improve your time in the sheets.
I know you have seen it in movies where people simply rip off their clothes and get at it. The guy thrusts, she moans, and within minutes they are a tangle of unimaginable orgasms. Now come back to reality; the female (and male) body needs to be fully aroused before penetrative sex can occur and that is key to lasting longer in bed.
A slow buildup and various forms of foreplay allow your penis to adapt to a slow increase in stimulation such that when it is time for penetration, your penis will be going from 40-60 and not zero to 60. Your oral skills will certainly come in handy.
Most men can recognize this technique without having to read it. And it is simple really. The idea is to pump for a while then stopping when you feel close to ejaculating. This prevents you and your partner from finding an easy rhythm thus delaying ejaculation.
However, many men make the mistake of waiting for the time they are almost close to cumming (point of no return) before stopping the pumping. And therein lies a problem; the closer you are to ejaculating when you stop, the less stimulation it will take when you resume meaning you are only seconds away from ejaculation once you resume. The key is stopping it in a measured way. Remember not to use this technique the whole time lest your partner thinks they are romping with an alarm clock.
Slow it down
Naturally, the faster a man has sex, the quicker he ejaculates. In other words, faster, harder thrusts result in a quicker climax and should be avoided by anyone looking to last longer. What to do? Try taking it slow. A slower, more measured thrusting means that the tip of the penis is less stimulated thus delaying ejaculation.
Try aiming for a single thrust every few seconds then gradually take it up a notch to such a point where you thrust once per second. Stop thrusting if you feel you are going to cum and then start again. See how quickly you turn from a one minute man to a fucking stud.
If you have a go-to position that gets you off, try switching it up. You see, certain positions can help men delay their orgasm. The trick is looking for a position that reduces deep penetrations and puts pressure on the top side of the penis. Full penetration maximizes stimulation and can lead to faster orgasms.
So, what works and what doesn’t? First of all, avoid doggy style like a plague. Instead, try any of the following:
- Woman on top
- Modified doggy style (with the woman lying flat on her belly instead of all fours)
- Spooning (the two of you lying side by side)
If you feel you are about to blow your load, it is time to stop thinking about anything sexual right away and distract your mind. Distract yourself with anything that’s not related to sex, something incredibly boring: think about your tailbone, your grandmother, the tile floor and so on. Even better, she doesn’t need to know about it. Granted, you will be taking yourself out of the moment which can momentarily reduce the pleasure of the sex itself, but you only need to be distracted for 15 seconds and then start over. That’s not too long by any stretch of the imagination and considering the overall gains; it is certainly worth trying.
Use a condom
Many men would prefer raw sex to using a condom and for obvious reasons. Sex with a condom is obviously different and doesn’t feel as good, but you can take advantage of condoms to prevent you from shooting your load too soon. Condoms decrease your penis’s sensitivity and increase the time it takes to ejaculate. Oh, there is also the not-so-small matter of preventing STIs and unwanted pregnancies.
Just like you won’t find a quick fix to fitness, there is no quick fix for sexual prowess. Think of sex like a marathon; if you want to win, you need to have stamina and endurance, both of which don’t come overnight. Practice, practice and do even more practice!