Industry News

How Not to Date A Legendary Porn Star

Posted by Johnny Topanga, 6/24/2007 5:08:15 PM , on The Erotic Review:

1) Don’t be the first guy she ever falls in love with. She’ll just resent you for it. (Wouldn’t you?)
2) Don’t do “research” on her and her body of work after the two of you just got into a fight and you’re looking for a reason to hate her. Not because you’ll feel insecure or inadequate, but because it doesn’t work. You’ll still love her but now you’ll have a thousand images running through your head as well.
3) Don’t expect “Happily Ever After”. (Ever.) Those who’ve spent significant time working in the skin trade (“L-A-XXX”) rarely see anything as “half-full”. Or “better” tomorrow. Their often-sad epilogues litter every street from Pasadena to Orange County. Doesn’t mean they want it that way. Or didn’t try to make happy and fulfilling post-porn lives for themselves. But it happens. And it happens often.
4) Don’t think you can change what *it* was that spurred them to get into the biz to begin with, because, most likely, *it* evolved from abusive childhoods and sexual exploitation. Horrors and painful memories you can never fix or erase. Don’t try. (Repeat)
5) Don’t confuse what was done in the past with what is going on now.
6) Don’t forget that money and how it relates to sex doesn’t just stop at what was done on film. It’s about being able to make a living and get by with what you *have* and what she has always used in the past…whether in a supermarket or in a bank. (see: “the power of pussy”)
7) Don’t underestimate the importance of privacy between the two of you. There’s a reason she has 3 different names.
8) Don’t harass her if it doesn’t work out between the two of you. Most likely, she already has many documented stalkers and she doesn’t need any more reasons to look over her shoulder.
9) Don’t post WHO SHE WAS and mention HER NAME on a discussion board no matter how many people ask you to do so.
(btw, I signed up for TER following our break-up after a 2 year relationship thinking I wouldn’t be able to deal with “dating” for a while…haven’t seen a provider yet, found a girlfriend instead…and although this is a great site, i’ll be cancelling today…take care, guys…)

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