Is your sex life doomed, if you get older?

Contrary to popular opinion, your sex life is not doomed as you grow older. A lot of lovely aged folks are having great sex out here. There is a misconception that older people’s sex lives are as good as dead, with younger people often wondering how old people can even contemplate sex.  Today I’ll bust your bubble; sex is not a preserve for young people. The good news is, except for ill health, older adults continue to enjoy sex, some even in their 80s. Let that sink in…

Now, don’t get me wrong, the aging process has a way of taking its toll on our bodies. Natural changes are bound to occur in your sexual physiology. In men, for instance, testosterone levels will gradually decrease which affects erection, arousal, and ejaculation. For women, estrogen levels drop which brings with it vaginal dryness, affecting sexual arousal as well. That, however, doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed to its deathbed. I’ll explain.

Changes in body and activity

As mentioned, the human body changes all the time. Men start noticing changes once they hit 40. Injuries, lingering pains, and at times obesity can impact their sex lives. For instance, your knees, or your partner’s may no longer tolerate certain positions. Other things include shortness of breath, loss of energy and stamina. Typically, men report reduced interest in sex as they grow older which can manifest in either loss of interest or less frequency. Some may even report occasional difficulty in maintaining or obtaining an erection.

While all that may seem like the end of sex for older couples, it only means you might need to adjust your sexual strategies. How do you ask? Couples might require more direct stimulation from each other before full arousal. As a man, you might experience shorter warning time to erection, and you will release less sperm less forcefully, but it’s certainly not the end of your sex life, is it? Some couples even shift from penetrative sex to mutual masturbation to keep the sexual flame burning.

Less heat but more warmth

Men’s sexual feelings are at their most intense in their 20s. It is all about the heat and more of the small head thinking for the big head if you know what I mean. There is also a preoccupation with having children which means more added pressure to get those sperms inside the vagina.

As people grow older, there is less of that pressure. Getting kids is no longer a part of the agenda, and it’s more about raising them. The fiery urges of your 20s are replaced with freedom of intimacy. Let me explain; older couples have a broader definition of pleasure which gives them more options beyond vaginal sex and orgasm. There is a greater emphasis on emotional intimacy and rediscovering each other’s bodies.  You will also slow down and take more time for sex, something that’s not possible in your youth.

Less individualistic

In your 20s, there is a preoccupation with penetrative sex, with the primary goal being ‘emptying out’ and moving on. There is a little talk, if any, of the emotional aspect of sex, something that is often underrated. Most of the time, it’s simply sex for sex’s sake.

The good news is, all that changes with age. As people grow older, there is a reported shift from an individualistic attitude to a more caring one. Older men show greater care and willingness to help their partners achieve sexual satisfaction even without penetrative sex. This makes couples more connected as they are free to ask each other what they like or dislike. As you may have experienced, older men talk more about the love and connection for their partners more than younger folks. As you grow older, sex is not something you do for fun; it is something to bring couples together and keep them closer and more connected. These changes enable couples to lead a fulfilling life, even without the intensity and raw desires of youth. See, you may not be doomed to using Viagra for half of your life after all.

And it is important

Now that we have agreed that sex is not a young people activity, what are some of the benefits of sex as you grow older?

  • Many old people feel emotionally unsettled, and sex has been known as a happiness-inducing activity. Having regular sex with your partner may be the perfect way of dealing with the stresses of life and even depression.
  • Regular ejaculation lowers the risk of prostate cancer for men.
  • Sex between older couples often leads to better communication and increased intimacy.
  • Getting between the sheets releases endorphins, which are natural painkillers. As you know, older people experience niggling aches and pains and sex could be a welcome remedy.
  • This one might sound cliché, but people who have regular sex report an increased quality of life.


If you thought sex is just for the young, think again. Here’s to wishing you a more fulfilling sex life as you get older, in more ways than a young mind can possibly imagine.

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