I want to be truthful about something that has bothered me ever since I have become a missionary to the sex industry. I feel like my voice has been stolen from me. I find myself running to music in order to express my true feelings. Every time I open my mouth my every word is picked apart.
There are days I just have wrong thinking. I could be hurt, worn out or just feeling defeated and my every word is thrown back at me for years to come. I have made so many mistakes and grown through this process but through it all I have lost my freedom to feel or express myself.
I have to hide and choose each word I put out there. Maybe this is just part of the job God has called me to … but I can’t help but feel trapped and boxed in. There is so many happy times in my life but so often I wish I could be loved through my short comings and not only when I give out the appearance of perfection.