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Johnny Goodluck’s Motorcycle Gang Practices Social Distancing

You’re probably wondering why I would waste time with another Johnny Goodluck post… There are several answers to that, one is, I have some other good stories, but the people that run porn have asked me not to publish them, the other is Johnny said he was gonna “sue me” for the stalking story.

The worst thing you can ever do is threaten to sue me, it will only lead to more posts. More posts = more ridicule.

Get this, last night, I was looking at some bush pics sent to me thru DMs, rating them on fullness and if they would provide my face with warmth during a cold spell, when someone sent me a screen cap from a Johnny Goodluck interview

“I’ve been keeping very busy! I ride with a motorcycle club, which has been exciting and keeps me far away from the rest of the world. Our version of social distancing is going out to the coast and sitting on rocks by the beach far away from each other. And when we ride in a pack, we also stay the legal distance away from each other… but it keeps me in a sense of being with my family without being locked in the house. I’ve also made quite the manacle out of my garage, and gotten our home to really sparkle. And I’ve been reading a lot!”

So Johnny’s gang takes long rides on the beach together?  Then they sit on rocks and enjoy the sunset?  Isn’t this how most gay porn starts?  Not that there is anything wrong with gay sex on a California beach, if that’s your thing. It’s not mine. When I’m at the beach, I’m wishing I wasn’t…

My question is, if you’re tested and trying to bang your ex, why are you worried about social distancing with your motorcycle gang? I’d follow up with, weren’t you looking for a couch to crash on in Vegas?  Is that safer than you and the Sons Of Shrek motorcycle gang on a beach? And did you really need to add “And when we ride in a pack, we also stay the legal distance away from each other”? This almost sounds like Erika wrote it.

Do The Sons Of Shrek have cool vests? Do y’all have beef with The Maenchiladas MC?  Since you’re Johnny Goodluck, a super famous male pornstar, according to you anyway, is hard for you to walk into Hooters with the Sons of Shrek and not get noticed? Does it make other SoS members jealous? Could one of them possibility be planing to get ‘rid of you’ due to jealousy over your international stardom?

 

Did you really make that tweet?

I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure NO one outside your Motorcycle gang have ever got off to you and your dick in a scene.  Contrary to what Erika tells you, no one remembers the 6th guy in a blowbang.

And, how the fuck can you make a manacle out your garage? According to the inter-web:

A manacle is a metal band, chain, or shackle for fastening someone’s hands or ankles.

Johnny, maybe you should hire a reputable PR company, say Brian Gross, then at a minimum you could get your stupid shit proof read..

Hopefully you and the Sons Of Shrek aren’t involved in any beach turf wars. It would be hard to maintain social distancing when your fighting some scooter riding Yogi’s over a rock. By Yogi, I mean the hippies, not the cool bear. And by Bear, I don’t mean the buff hairy gay guys, I mean the smooth dressing Animal that hung out in Jellystone Park until his untimely death at the hands of Peter Griffin. Which is a story for another day.

Idea for your cool Motorcycle vests:

sons of shrek

 

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