This GIF of Lenny Kravitz’ penis flopping out of his pants is oddly calming. His wardrobe mishap at a concert in Sweden early this week was a real eye-opener! It reminds everyone that, no matter how famous you are, sometimes your pants will split and people will see that you’re not wearing underwear.
They’ll see your dick pop out, and somebody, somewhere will catch it on video. Sometimes it will happen in the Starbucks line when you’re bending over to pick up some change you dropped, sometimes it will happen when you sit down too fast in a chair, and sometimes it will happen when you decide to do a squat in leather pants in the middle of a guitar solo during a performance in front of thousands of people. The resulting video will be passed around the internet like Magic cards in a room full of plumber-crack-sporting nerds, and it will probably never really go away. It will be the front page of every gossip rag for the next month. It will be dissected, picked apart, commented on, then made into a GIF, and people will watch it over and over, mesmerized at the speed at which your dick popped out of your pants. Scientists will determine its escape velocity on their lunch breaks, for funsies.
Upon a dick slip of this magnitude, women will raise eyebrows and nod appreciatively, and men everywhere will be a little jealous. Redditors will undoubtedly create a subreddit for your dick slip moment. It will be put to music, people will make jokes about your dick wanting to flyyyy away (yeah, yeah, yeah!), and somebody, somewhere will put animated googly eyes over yours. Your dick slip will be seen by millions on Twitter and Facebook, and the four people who still use MySpace. And you know what?
Whether it’s Janet Jackson’s Superbowl nip slip, Left Shark’s fuckup, Kanye yelling at a wheelchair-bound fan, or Jay-Z getting bitch slapped by Bey, the interest will eventually die down. People will stop caring a few months on, and you can go back to doing concerts, and maybe get some reinforced stitching on your leather pants around the crotch area.