Industry News

Luke Is A Dip

Soopergrizz posts on XPT: “I’m sad for you Luke. How do you get out of bed in the morning when you know you will be submerging yourself in a cesspool of people you dislike and disrespect, working in a toxic industry that is destroying the social fabric of society. What do you say to yourself to make it through a day? Why do you put up with it? When you are taking pics of the talent and you ask them to pose, how do you hide your pity? Do you stare at them like they have terminal cancer (well, those of them that don’t have it already)?”

El Glorioso posts: “i dont know what i lukse’s problem with porn. without porn he did not “work”.”

El Glorioso posts a picture of me cupping Nancy Vee’s breasts.

I want you, dear reader, to know something. I did not cup Nancy’s supple breasts for my own pleasure. I was trying to save her honor. Not my will, but Thine be done. I write on porn and sacrifice my honor daily to try to redeem you fallen ones and show you the light.

You’re jolly lucky to have me around to sort you out.

Fred writes:

Dear Moral Leader–

I want you to know that I am glad that you did your utmost to preserve Nacy Vee’s honor. Not many men of your virtue and calibur would be willing to cup her breast for such a noble purpose. Sir, I doff my hat to you. You make the world a more virtuous and honorable place.

F

P.S. Could you teach me how to preserve a woman’s honor by cupping her breast? I want to follow in your footsteps.

It says in our holy Talmud that if a man and a woman are both naked, you clothe the woman first.

PornToBorn posts:

My ambition here is to start a thread that will be around as long as XPT and/or Ford is, even if that eventually means, down the line several years, one reply every six months as we, say, take note with a mixture of amusement and horror of his latest screw-up (Platinum X/Candy Shop going under, etc.), his latest topless, man-boobed self-portrait, his latest reactionary societal rant, his latest cry for love from Holly. A Duke Floored depreciation thread by another name, if you will. Too ambitious? We shall see. The guy IS a veritable bottomless well of material, after all.

So, what DOES make the Edsel such a self-important, loathsome, stuffy, misguided, mixed-up, screwed-up L7? Let us count the ways. I’ll get the ball rolling with two of the more obviously easy reasons:

1 – He doesn’t like PORN fer Crissakes, proudly claiming not to jerk off to the stuff. Holy crap! Can you believe it!?! What is his problem!?! 2 – He openly admits to liking Air Supply. Holy crap! Can you…. well, you get the idea…

OK, next?!?

Conky writes:

3. Any time he starts a thread with the line “I feel we have failed insert porn name here”
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he’s Burg’s love rival.

Ladies and gents, I feel like we have failed Holly. Were we there for her when she was hurting inside or did we just use her to basely satisfy our own sinful desires?

Holly responds:

I know you’re kidding here Luke, but if anything, YOU used me when I was “hurting inside”. When I was in rehab you posted that private matter on your site, and used it as a springboard to rail against those with addiction problems, which you claimed that you’ve experienced yourself. I find that people’s practiced intolerance towards others and their beliefs reflects a personal inablity to forgive, and ultimately love, oneself. You claimed that I “lack self-control”, you bemoaned my “moral failings”, and you said the support I recieved for my decision “nausteated” you. A lot of people were there for me… unfortunately, you were not. It’s in the past and I’m over it– and though I don’t hold a grudge against you for it, re-reading it just now again reminded me how conflicted you are inside. I hope that changes for you someday. Honestly.

I’m sorry Holly. It was not my fault. Pornography has morally desensitized me.

Des writes:

G’day, mates. My name is D-smond Ford, and I’m here to say I’m right cheesed off with my gay son Luke Ford. The boy is a complete disgrace to the Ford family name, and I’ll be checking in here regularly to tell you why. For now, let’s just say I think the boy’s unnatural relations with his childhood friend WAYNE CH-RRY had a fair-dinkum lot to do with the sorry way he turned out. I’d have rather seen the abos kill him when he was young than suffer the embarrassment of his vendetta against the porn industry.

If my gay son Luke is reading this, I hope he heeds my advice: If y’don’t like porn, son, leave it alone. Your attention-grubbing ways are all too familiar to me from the days when you’d cry for me and your mum in the middle of the night. It didn’t work then, and it won’t wash now.

… G’day Jim B. I’m just having a spot of Vegemite and leafing through my Bible verses on XPT right about now.

Regarding my hypocritical, homosexual, attention-seeking, talentless son Luke and his frolics with the wallabies: let’s not forget that Luke also had unnatural carnal knowledge of cone snails, cane toads, stonefish, wallaroos, box jellies, Tasmanian devils, the deadly Taipan snake and of course, the fair-dinkum large saltie named Captain Jack who lived behind our humble home. No wonder he’s such a douche-guzzling, simpering creep as an “adult”.

My faggot son Luke — and I apologize for that slip of the tongue as a man of the cloth, but really — my son Luke is like our Australian kookaburra… a bird known for its shrill, annoying cry. Let’s examine a few points:

1. HYPOCRITE. He makes a living off porn, accepts porn ad dollars, feeds off and obsesses on the industry, and MADE A PORN MOVIE — then condemns it with phony morality. He’s the least moral person I’ve ever met, and I raised the little whelp so I ought to know!

I believe that as a child, Luke justified this two-faced tendency by referring to his “hee-hee” personality. And let me tell you, when the boy began indulging his “hee-hee” personality the first thing I did was to crack him a good one. Then he’d have something to cry about. Maybe someone should do the same now.

2. GAY

He dreams of eating snake sandwiches and performing double-penetrations with a male friend (do you lot dream about that? I DON’T!), wears tighty-whiteys, is scared of the vagina (the poof says they smell funny) and primps himself like a fair-dinkum sissy with Grecian formula. ‘Nuff said.

3. DOES NOT RESPECT HIS DAD, D-SMOND FORD

He converted to Judaism just to honk me off, but still yearns to please me by obsessing on his own not-so-secret hate for the religion of the Hebrews, which he mocks with his very existence.

In short, lads, I’m just about fit to bust over this matter. I’ll have to watch a few of your American Bukakke videos just to let out some steam! In the meantime, let me bugger off right now with this: My gay son Luke is an utterly worthless piece of shit, a hack writer, a plagiarist and a loser of the lowest order. I’ll be back soon with more concrete proof — as if any were needed!

It seems my whiny sodomite of a son is none too pleased with his own Dad speaking the truth. After years of “outing” what he calls “porners” to the world (more often than not with total inaccuracy) the boy has sent me an e-mail begging me not to use my own name REV. D-SMOND FORD or that of his childhood sweetheart WAYNE CH-RRY on a degenerate website called XXXPornTalk.

 

I’ll not have this guff from you, boy. Do I have to fly from the outback to the Pico-Robertson area to beat some sense into your chemically-imbalanced noggin? I’ll never understand what that feisty young sheila Holly Randall saw in your self-obsessed, terminally insecure, lying arse, but I’m glad to see the girl has smartened up. I can’t say the same for you, Luke.

D’ya have a new SCOOP for us all, boy? Shouldn’t you be out and about digging up dirt on the “porners” to make yourself feel superior? You’re a failure, son. A failure of the most pathetic and embarrassing sort.

You want to show the world how fair-dinkum smart you are, mate? You crave recognition for your worthless efforts? Your self-published vanity press “books,” your stinking, cut-and-pasted BLOGS, your fake Judaism?

I’m sorry dad.

Hyperion posts:

I’ve never met the man , but I think I can say with a reasonable amount of accuracy that Luke for what its worth doesn’t look at himself as a dipshit.I’ve followed his website over the years, even before he sold it and its almost as though he has this fascination with Porn and the people in it.

He’s described himself as as not a conventional journalist, not a businessman, but more of an entertainer.I’m curious though as though he has an ongoing discussion on his other blog about the ongoing failures of journalism. currently he seems to be railing at some situation where an Anchorwoman was having a relationship with the Mayor of Los Angeles and why the mainstream media isn’t camping outside her door looking for whatever it is that reporters look for.

Maybe I’m starry-eyed but shouldn’t he be practicing professionally what he wishes other would?. He’s a constant negative influence on the Adult Business, for the simple reason that when Luke speaks to someone of shall we say – more conservative viewpoints he finds a receptive audience. To my own clearly limited eyes it was my impression that reporters and news instruments where to show non-bias in their reporting, gather the facts relevant to a situation and let the viewer decide.

But how does this jibe with his self description of an ‘entertainer’. Call me provincial but since when do entertainers other than Tom Cruise et al complain about the media? and especially when most of the complaints about the Adult business consist a long series of blanket statements to the effect that Porn is probably worse for you than sucking on an exhaust pipe?

 

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