I’ve got a new advertiser on my website. Somebody is paying me to put up their banner and to link it to their website.
Big deal, right?
Well, the new advertiser is anti-porn crusader Shelley Lubben.
I don’t see a problem. I know Shelley. She conducts herself honorably to the best of my knowledge.
So she’s against porn? Well, so am I. I think porn is bad. I also think that I am bad, that TV is bad, that most Hollywood movies are bad, that cigarettes are bad, that alcohol and caffeine are bad, that Coke and Pepsi and soft drinks are bad, that meat is bad, that gambling and wanking and pre-marital and extra-marital sex is bad, that most pop music is bad, that most modern art is bad, that the ACLU is bad, that the Democratic party and much of the Republican party are bad, that universities (outside of the natural sciences) do more bad than good. I don’t mean bad artistically, I mean they are bad for you. I am not necessarily for banning them.
Do I think these things are so bad that I won’t tarnish my soul by taking money from them? Hell no.
I’m sometimes asked by women if they should do various types of sex work. I always say no. I hated it when Holly posed nude. It forever tarnished her for me. She’s no longer pure and pristine. She’s a dirty whore and I wouldn’t sleep with her even if she begged me to, even if she screamed, “Luke, My Moral Leader, take me right now and make me your bitch, pull my hair, choke me, pound me into a puddle.”
I am sometimes asked by men if they should masturbate to pornographic images (either real images or ones created solely in their mind). I always say no.
Beautiful women are constantly throwing themselves at me to take me away from God’s plan for my life. I always say no (except for when I don’t).
How much is Shelley paying me? Here for my advertising rates.
AVN sells booth space to the XXXChurch and JCsGirls at their conventions. How is this such a big deal?
I think gossip is bad and yet I gossip for a living.
So I don’t live up to my highest ideals. Big deal. Who does?
I’ve been trying to track down her financials for a while, but I’ve been a little busy lately.
As far as I can tell, she has no Church, Ministry or Non-Profit Organization registered with the California Attorney General’s Office, as required by law. So either she’s operating out of some God Forsaken place like Utah, she’s operating illegaly, or she’s operating under the aegis of some other entity, lixe XXXChurch or Focus on the Family.
I think a more important question, at least to us pervs is:
HOW MUCH IS SHE PAYING YOU, LUKE? AND WHO’S CUTTING THE CHECK?
Come clean, Luke. I know it’s hard living in a hovel, and the temptation is great, but Shelley and her ilk are evil and you know it. They’re the Porno-Moonies, for chrissakes.
It’s still a few hours before Shabbos out there in California, and I KNOW you will read this. Come clean, Luke. Or you can forget about me helping you with your murder case.
That’s nonsense. Shelley is not evil. What’s so bad with offering girls in porn a way out? She’s not forcing anybody to leave porn. She’s helping those in the industry who want to leave to leave.
Anyway, I am so poor I’d happily take money from evil. I’m like the red heifer in the Torah. I take things that are impure and make them pure, absorbing their sin onto my own person, like a bloke on a cross.
Monstar posts on XPT: “I’m not knocking Luke. Luke gotta eat. I’m sure given the right price he’d put up a ‘my daughter f–ked blackzilla’ banner right next to shelly’s right next to ‘buy air supply’s greatest hits volume 2’.”
Vin posts: “Did she pay you in Top Ramen? I’ll send you some Cambell’s soup if you take that bitch whore’s banner down and a $10 Arch Card if you never mention that cunt again on your site.”
Vin, What Would Jesus Do?
I think you need a closer walk with the Lord, my friend.
Steve York posts:
Why’s everyone getting into a tizzy over this?
For $400 a month what type of response do you think Shelly will get? Do you really think the average porn star looking for salvation will see that banner on Luke’s site and all of a sudden have a change of heart and find Jesus’s love after reading it on Luke’s site?
Does XXXChurch have more than three “success” stories from over the past year? I can point to many more fuck ups (“Project Trinity James” being my personal favorite given my personal involvement) than victories.
If anything I see this as an unnecessary expense and give it six months before she stops advertising realizing that the costs to benefits just don’t justify themselves (instead of hawking for Jesus she should be getting ex-stars to go college). Really, the more average people see whackos like Shelly, XXX Church (Craig Gross and his merry band of tards), Michael Leahy and the rest of the New Christian Armies of America, they’ll realize just how far out they really are especially with their Pentecostal and Evangelical beliefs. Exposure is the best step to defeating them. They will *all* pull a Ted Faggard at one point or another and alienate their own followers.
BTW Shelly, are you still calling and writing Mary Carey on a near daily basis trying to get her to become a Christian with all your end of the world mumbo jumbo gumbo? Or did you give up on that whore like you’ve done with the rest when you realize they won’t give you what you desire?
This entire thread is giving me mild diarrhea. I just don’t get the frenzy here people.
1. Luke hates porn. Fact.
2. Luke gotta eat. Fact
3. Luke takes money from pornographers, furthering their businesses while he tries to slam them.
4. Lubben will never turn the entire industry into bible thumpers because, as the F.L.O.P. states: There’s always a new whore.
I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if Luke advertised Anal Fingering the Lockwood Way on his site. I spend zero time looking at adverts on Luke’s site. I’m more interested in the gossip.
Seriously people, if this is what gets you beating your chests, go get a hobby. We all know Luke’s a hypocrite. This is not news!
Elaborator posts: “If you think about it…Shelly is just adding an additional bit of entertainment to a whores career. When they get old and methed out they can become Cheerleaders for Christ and we can laugh at the ridiculus things that come out of their mouths (as opposed to things going into their mouths prior to their rebirthing). Even more entertainment value when they have strange cattywampus eyes.”