Ladies *ehem* and gentlemen! Now you can have ALL THE DICKS!
Secretly hoping that the denim/legging combo ‘trend’ would disappear, I happened to stumble upon this dazzling dirty bit of accoutrement. The picture is small but I’ve provided you with a close up should you have the balls to click on the image to the left. Venture in for closer inspection won’t you?
Oh thine eyes DO NOT deceive you! Trust me. Initially I thought these were too good (or bad) to be true, but they EXIST! Pardon me while I scrub my eyes (and brain) with bleach, will you?
Now you can cover your legs in cocks and nobody can say anything about it because they’re on your tights, and tights are in dammit! Or you could just be a complete nutter and ignore all the thinly veiled sarcasm, buy them… and wear them to work! Somehow I don’t think they’d be such a good idea for casual Friday, even if you work in the industry.
Now everyone can punch you in your junk, or should I say junk-SSSssssss, sans the excruciating pain that inevitably follows! They could really just go to town all day and you would never feel it. But the €119,00 price tag… that might cut you real deep.
According to the internet there are actually several different kinds of penis pants with this type, the leggings I’m talking about currently, being the least offensive. Believe it or not. At least until you let somebody get in really close to discover the secret pattern. While I loved The DaVinci Code, (Tom Hanks WHUT!) truthfully I’m not one for cryptics and will maintain that this is the only Dick Print that I will let hang in and around my wardrobe:
Well, that just about wraps it up for me. Now, I can say that I have truly seen everything —that I’ve wanted to see. Maybe I’ll spend the rest of my afternoon on Porn.com trying to match snakes to faces.
Yup. Productivity. All the way down.