Industry News

OUR Ron Jeremy for President?

NL- The best part of this story is the news video. It’s funny as hell. Watch it here.

Supporters of Porn Star Legend Ron “The Hedge Hog” Jeremy and the National “SEX PARTY” have gained enough signatures necessary to enter him in the 2008 Presidential Campaign! Charles Wingate, Jeremy’s Campaign Coordinator and porn aficionado, commented ” Well, we all know Ron has always been a rather late comer, he tends to hold out till the very end!”

Jeremy’s campagin started as a result of an online prank that has resulted in a groundswell of support! “What the prankster didn’t count on was that his joke was so way out there nobody actually got it! said Charles Meade a clerk at the Board Of Elections where the petition was certified and ask not to be identified. “Oddly no one seems to have as yet put the name and the personality together and that the candidate they are supporting is actually the world famous porn star!”

“Well, it’s so absurd! Ridiculous!!!!! Who would have thought they were talking about HIM! I thought they were talking about someone else! Some other “Ron Jeremy” A porn star for president!?! What are they out of their fucking minds” was the response of Mel Finster an already ex-supporter who finally put two and two together! Ava Montoya, a 63 year old grandmother from New Jersey reacted “Oh my god! HIM! The one with the schwantz and all the hair! HIM? You’re kidding! How…….”

Reporters for Xcitement News Network tracked down Mr. Jeremy in a Jewish Deli enjoying a rather large Pastrami sandwich, with potato salad and a pickle on the side. Asked for comment he replied “What? I didn’t even know I was fucking running! What the fuck? Am I being Punked?”

After which, he stated “Well, O.K….. Let me throw a platform together and pick a running mate and I’ll call a press conference in a few hours! Why not, what the hell, I’ve been fucking people my whole career, being president can’t be that different! Right?!”

More on this report to follow!

This ersatz investigative report done by the Xcitement Adult Daily News & Revue

You Might Also Like