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Porn Actor in the Running for “50 Shades of Grey”

50 Shades of Grey. This literary piece of dogshit has been taking over the world by way of fierce and unrelenting mediocrity. What started out as pathetic Twilight fan fiction has found new life and identity as 50 Shades of Grey. It follows the fucked-up relationship between a young college girl, Anatasia Steele and impossibly handsome and rich brooder, Christian Grey (No parallels to Edward at all, huh.) There’s BDSM. A lot of it apparently. Critically panned but hyper-popular with soccer moms, college women and teens, it was just a matter of time before this metric ton of pure shit got its own movie.

Now for casting news.

Today, I learned that Porn’s own son, James Deen is officially in the running for the character of Christian Grey.

James Deen doing thumbs up pose

If he indeed snags the role, it’ll be the most influential and successful move that a porn star has ever made into mainstream channels. Sorry, nobody gave a shit about Sasha Grey in the “The Girlfriend Experience” – Soderberg’s fantastic direction notwithstanding.

But it’s not smooth-sailing yet.

James Deen has to battle it out with the likes of real professional actors: Ian Somerhalder, Ryan Gosling and Captain Dancey Pants himself, Chatum Tanning.

Ian Somerhalder plays a vampire on "Vampire Diaries"

If movie executives quickly familiarized themselves with James Deen’s work that’s chock-full of rough sex, they’d immediately realize Deen is the only choice that makes sense. But something tells me Cotton Mouth Bob (above) is going to be holding the keys to the red room of pain. Not that I give a fuck about this movie, I just think it’d be hilarious to see scores of women suddenly have a maddening cultural crush on a male porn star who’s made his living with skin flicks like “Grand Theft Anal 10” and the curious “Lick Her Ass Off My Dick.”

Check out James Deen’s Greatests Hits!

 

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