Editorials

Porn, Let’s Be Honest

Porn, Let's be honest

This guy apparently has a problem with the way porn has been progressing. He goes on ad nauseum in his vlog about how he’s disappointed that the days of the sexy pizza delivery guy are gone. He laments the loss of the ripped plumber coming to fix a horny housewive’s pipes. He doesn’t seem to be able to wrap his head around some of the more interesting sex positions. He has a problem with Bonnie Rotten’s tattoos. He un-ironically uses the term ‘power sesh’ to describe his masturbatory habits.

This guy is what we commonly refer to as a ‘twat’.
I’m all for change: I recently moved into a new apartment. I vote. Sometimes, I buy 2% milk instead of skim, just to switch it up a bit. And, occasionally, I watch weird porn. It’s not shock stuff or gore or deep dark fetish things involving nipple clamps and flails and electrodes attached to ball sacks; it’s just a slight variation from the norm. To switch it up a bit. This guy is acting like everything he comes across is the deep dark fetish stuff, and that that’s all porn has to offer these days: nipple clamps and slapping and tears. For someone who claims to be such a connoisseur, his overall view and experience of such a diverse industry is surprisingly narrow.

I get that he’s trying to be funny – he makes it very clear, several times, that he is a “Funny Guy”. He advises us in a mock-condescending tone to not get YouTube confused with YouPorn or RedTube, because those are porn sites, for porn just like porn.com. He’s self-deprecating and has a nice chin, which would be great if he could just stop sucking. Can I get my three minutes back?

…Please?

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