Industry News

Pussy? What color? RAINBOW PUSSY!

by Al Blanko

It really fucked me up when I found out Evan from Biohazard did pornos. I was like huh, rock to porno, okay. I can’t call him by his porno name though, because I think the name is kind of cheesy, and to me he’s just the dude from Biohazard anyway. He was also Jaz Hoyt in the HBO prison series Oz, a dude in the biker clique who ran with Aryans and Nazis, ironically while Evan is Jewish in real life (and a distant cousin of Jerry Seinfeld’s I hear). I wonder why they couldn’t write a part for Evan in an episode of Seinfeld? I can see it now. Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer chillin at the coffee shop and in walks Jerry’s distant tattooed up the ass cousin from Brooklyn. He ends up fucking Elaine and the fallout is hilarious because she has to break up with him because he long dicked her so hard it broke her ovary! LOL! What a riot!
 
I’ve never bought a Biohazard album, but I think they were part of something that was ahead of it’s time. The thing I’m referring to is the soundtrack to the movie “Judgment Night.” The premise was to make a whole album where hardcore rock bands teamed up with hardcore hip hop groups, though not all the songs/artists fit that mold exactly. Biohazard recorded two songs with Onyx, another group from Brooklyn. In my opinion, shit like that hadn’t been done before, not like that in that way at least. Sure by that time Aerosmith and Run D.M.C. did their thing. So did Anthrax and Public Enemy, and while we’re at it, Rage Against The Machine had already put out their first album. Other than that, at that time, rap and rock were not combined, at least not in a cool way (yes, Faith No More, I’m talking to you). What made their contribution especially potent was that Onyx was just as heavy as Biohazard. Onyx is head banging rap, straight up, and the result of them working with Biohazard was some heavy ass, break your neck head banging shit. Plus, they’re both from New York, and there’s no better landscape than that to produce the real hard shit. This wasn’t some gay ass Limp Bizkit shit, this shit was raw. So as far as judging someone I don’t know, Evan has gotta be cool if he was a part of that.
 
Okay, I guess it’s also worth noting he had a hot ass porno chick sweating him, almost stalking him. Not just any porno chick, but what became the 1 chick in the jizz biz, the chick that knocked off Jenna. Other bitches were supposed to, (hello Devon, Savanna Samson, Briana), but Tera is the one that actually took the title. After Evan hooked up with Tera, he became a porno star in his own right, though I’ve never actually seen a porno he’s been in. I was reading something that there’s a flick that ends with him fucking ten Asian bitches at once. Ten bitches at once! I had to repeat it because it’s so crazy. I don’t know if I have the juice to give it to ten bitches at the same time, but I’m glad we live in a world where someone does and is. Gimme an eightball and some Viagra and maybe, but shit I’ve never fucked two chicks at once, let alone ten. What puts that over the top was that it was ten Asian chicks, because in my opinion, all things being equal, sex is always better with someone of an opposite race.
 
This is something I can say from experience, because I’ve been with the four branches, white, black, Latin and Asian, though I had to pay for the latter two. I come from a mixed background, but I’m a white dude. I’m sorry, but white pussy can not fuck with black, Latin and Asian pussy. Maybe it’s a mental thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love women period regardless of race, but that ethnic pussy really gets the blood pumpin.
 
I’ve known non white dudes who have been with way more women than I have, but they haven’t been with a white chick. Non white dudes want to fuck white pussy so bad, it’s not a joke. They’ll be like, “look at that white bitch over there, I wanna fuck the shit out of her.” I look and it’s Ellen DeGeneres. I have a couple black friends who fiend for Sara Jay, who in my opinion is the ugliest successful porn star, but she’s built like a black chick. To them, they just want to get into white pussy, and if it resembles the pussy they already know and love, forget it, it’s over. I had a black friend that saw Britney’s drugged up performance at the Video Music awards and was like, “man that performance sucked, but did you see her ass? It got fat as hell!”
 
White bitches may secretly fiend for black dick, but ethnic bitches fiend for that white dick. They love it. Not any white dick though, certain white dick. Lets take Brad Pitt for example. He could leave a green bitch from Mars drippin wet and begging for more. Any bitch on the planet will sell her kids for a taste of that Brad Pitt dick. It’s worse than crack and crystal meth. How many ethnic dudes have it like that, not many, though for example I’m sure Blair Underwood does mad damage to bitches all over the color spectrum, as does Denzel and Antonio Banderas. Overall however, women are more picky than men, and the biggest turn on for women is not looks, it’s power, money and personality. Who was the most power and money in the world? White guys, though I can’t say white dudes have the most personality. They use the word vanilla to mean bland for a reason. However, when you’re white and you’ve got a good personality, money and power, you are set. Why do you think Donald Trump’s ugly ass is always with a top tier bitch?
 
Let’s take a pimp by the name of Bill Maher for example. He used to date Superhead, and he had Superhead completely sprung on his old, wrinkled white dick. This is a slut that’s fucked more black dudes than the K.K.K., but Bill Maher is the dick she fiended? What does he have? Power, money and personality. I once worked with this cute ass black and Puerto Rican chick, and guess who made her panties soak? Justin Timberlake, can you believe that? An average looking, questionably talented fuck like Justin had his game locked on that beautiful brown skinned princess.
 
Ultimately however, I believe the most popular color on earth for attraction is not white, it is pink and green. Pink for the pussy men love, and green for the money women love. Ask most guys and they would work in porno for free, but no matter how much women love the sex, they want the green or it’s no scene. If Adolf Hitler was fiending pussy, he would have fucked the most annoying Jewish Long Island bitch on Earth. No way a racist woman is fucking with her principles just because she got horny. What does this shit mean? I don’t know, but it makes me want to earn more green so I can get more black, white, brown and yellow pink.

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