Halloween is generally for candy and Christmas is for toys but everybody knows sex and toys go together like bread and butter. That’s why I present to you scary sex toys. Some are weird, some are terrifying just because the idea behind them and some are scary when you think about how they could be used.
This is ideal if you ever wanted to get a blow job from something that looks like deep sea sludge put on Earth by visiting aliens. Or maybe it’s her throat ripped out. Whatever if it is I don’t want it.
This tentacle vibrator because only in my nightmares are octopus shoving their creepy tentacles inside of me. It’s cool that this tentacle is made of shatter-resistant glass but it’s still creepy looking.
The Vajankle… it’s a foot you fuck. I mean isn’t it creepy enough you have what looks like a severed foot laying around but now it has a life like vagina on the ankle. We featured this in a previous post because who doesn’t want to fuck a foot? Not a footjob…we’re talking real foot fucking with this one!
Two sexy lesbians together is hardly a scary thing but just look at this room and some of the dildos and strap-on toys featured in this scene! Something makes me feel a little unsettled.
Monster dicks because who doesn’t want to fuck themselves with decaying zombie dick. It gets better however. Watch sassy old people review it in this previous blog post. Talk about “The Walking Hard”!
Sometimes, the size of something makes it scary (I’m looking at you Godzilla) In the video below you can watch porn star Brandi Edwards shove a massive baseball bat shaped dildo into her tight hole. Am I weak or is taking that much downright terrifying?
A Jaw-dropping 14 inches of maximum thickness! This is perfect if shoving a baseball bat up your vagina isn’t enough for you. Or maybe this cannon aiming for your ass. Either way, it takes a “brave soldier” to handle this one.
Aimee Addison getting fucked by some weird robot fuck machine is terrifying. I mean what is the world coming to.
This scene with Jackie is very similar but try to get the sound of that fucking machine out of your head. You can’t. It’s terrible.
In case that didn’t make you fear a robotic uprising the new teledildonic sex technology will. I feel like one day some computer code is going to go wrong and I’m going to be fucked until I die. I mean it’s not the worst way to die but still. For some reason I fear this is the start of something big…
These are our choices for freaky Halloween toys of the year. Want to see more toys in action? Check out our featured solo girl videos on porn.com. There’s always lots to uncover. Have a scary sex toy tale you wish to share with us? Post a comment or contact us on Twitter @Worldsbestporn