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Sobriety Sucks

Jeff N. writes in the September issue of Penthouse:

Thank God for sobriety! Too bad no one tells you that it comes hand in hand with an evil stepsister named Chastity.

When I used to drink, I got laid all the time. …I used to embrace the saying, Go ugly early and avoid the rush.

…12 step meetings. Most of them are coed, but this hardly helps. It means a newly sober guy has to endure 20-minute sex stories from smoking-hot-recovering-alcoholic chicks who recount in detail how they blew every guy on the East Coast for coke.

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