by Al Blanco
I’ve tried to keep this on the DL for a while, but I figured it’s time to announce that I have wrote two screenplays that are being green-lighted for production by major studios. One is a porno flick, one is a regular mainstream movie and one if not both are going to blow up (i.e. start ass kissing now).
The first is my porno flick and they were biting like sharks to get it. It is called AL & Darrah Make a Porno… That Cindi Watches. The premise is this: AL is a regular guy who is jeopardy of being deported to his native Mexico due to unpaid parking tickets (the Patriot Act is a motherfucker). The only way for AL to stay in the country is if he marries a U.S. citizen. Enter Darrah, a nympho who lives next door. AL proposes he pays her to marry him and then he can get his citizenship. Only thing is, the judge (Cindi) doesn’t believe the marriage is legit and makes AL a deal: produce a video of him and Darrah having sex so she can know this is for real. Because she is a fan of classic porno cinema she’s not into gonzo type shit, it has to be acted it in painfully predictable scenarios: the pizza deliveryman, the cableman and the plumber, with the last stipulation being that the roles are reversed (i.e. Darrah delivers the pizzas, is the cableperson and the plumber.)
The deeds are done and AL gets his citizenship. The credits roll, but not before Darrah and Cindi dyke out in the courtroom while AL strokes for good measure. We’re working on getting Joe the Plumber to come through so we can double up on Darrah in the plumber scene, but he’s asking for too much. I told him, Darrah is tight I know from experience, but his bald ass is not budging on his $50. I told Joe, listen you can live like a king in Ohio with the $25 we’re offering, what the fuck you are working in porno not for Google. In any event, we’re getting it done with or without him.
Part two coming up…..