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Sybarite Awards & Brittany Andrews by AL

Sybarite Awards Erotic Bash

OP/ED by AL Blanco

Faithful LIB readers might recall that I moved from New York to Colorado to pursue my education.  That’s a wrap and now I’m back home where I belong and I feel like 14 million Pesos (that’s about a million bucks).  I came back and attended Caligula Maximus with Justine Joli and at least one person thought the review posted on LIB completely sucked.  Later I realized why:  Caligula was from Rome and I was subconsciously recalling past prejudice suffered by racist Guidos.  As such, the writing suffered like Tiger Woods’ sex life after he backed into that hydrant Thanksgiving eve.

The Sybarite Awards Erotic Bash on the other hand derives its name from the Greek inhabitants of Sybaris, a colony of hedonists whose residents were referred to as Sybarites.  I’ve never had a problem with Greeks; in fact I like them because they are the proprietors of most of the diners in New Jersey, the diner capital of the world.  I love diners.  They are the restaurant equivalent of Amsterdam’s Red Light District; you can get whatever you want at any time. 

The Sybarite Awards is a yearly event celebrating the best in the swing lifestyle.  It is produced by my good friend Lola (she’s not a showgirl at the Copa and she doesn’t have a big brown voice) who owns HedoOnline.com (an adult lifestyle website).  All of Lola’s parties are a must for any dedicated swinger, however this is her signature event, and if one was to attend any this would be the one.

The event was held at the far west side of midtown Manhattan at Hudson Terrace.  It was so far on the west side I thought it was going to be an underwater event in the Hudson river.  The locale itself is very upscale and posh with easy patio access for us nicotine fiends, a plus in modern day watered down NY where smoking in a bar/club or restaurant is illegal.  Even though it’s been a while since that law got passed by perpetual Mayor Bloomberg, I always thought it was akin to making shitting in a toilet illegal.  It’s a fuckin bar!

Upon arrival I see Lola, who always looks stunning in her vast array of corsets; she has an unabashed corset fetish.  I’d rather see a woman with a corset fetish than a flannel shirt fetish.  It’s at this point I meet the inventor of the Sybian and president of the company, David L. Lampert.  I don’t think I should have to explain here what a Sybian is but in a nutshell it’s a ridable mechanical vibrator.  It will set you back about $1,400, though that has been its price throughout its existence. 

The Sybian also takes its name from Sybaris, the ancient Greek land of hedonism. Make no mistake, David is a cool guy.  An older gentleman, he first came up with the idea in 1985.  When I asked him what sparked the idea he stated simply because he thought there was a need for it.  Talk about a statement which drips with foresight and verbal brevity.  The first model was sold in 1987 and the rest is female jack off history.  For those curious, the Sybian is not designed for use by gay men, though I’m sure plenty of fellas ride it like a Greyhound bus.  Last Thursday David was on the Howard Stern Show and the Sybian made its 132nd appearance.  Seems like the Sybian is on Stern more than Artie nowadays POW PING! (yeah I’m an asshole).  Sybian also produces the Venus 2000 for men which through a stroke (pun intended…maybe) of mechanical genuis creates a sucking and stroking sensation on a man’s dick.  I don’t even know if I’d accept a comp because how am I supposed to explain that to a female that comes over?  It’s one thing to have porno, lotion and tissues out and be like, “oh damn what’s that doing there” but a full on sex machine might be too much for some ladies.  For more information on the Sybian, please visit www.Sybian.com 

The lovely Brittany Andrews was also in attendance and we got to talking about a variety of things, most of which we will rediscuss in a complete interview within the next several weeks.  She’s been out of the biz for three years now and has been up to some interesting things.  Believe the interview will touch any and all subjects and if you feel compelled, email me with any questions you might have for Brittany.  Also in attendance was Penthouse Pet of the Year Taylor Vixen, an all natural feast for the eyes.  I might even have to bestow official dime piece status on her.  Unfortunately this conversation occurred later in the evening after a few alcoholic beverages and my notes look like they were written by a caveman.  I will be in contact with Penthouse for a do over, and hope to have that for LIB soon.

I think the event was an outstanding success, but don’t take it from me, take it from Brittany who told me “this is the most upscale swinger party I have ever been to in New York.”  Enough said.  Lola’s parties are always decorated with great attention to detail and features her staff of male and female eye candy, though in my completely hetero opinion, the guys had it going on more.  They’re all diesel and hairless, kind of the opposite of me.  I bet they use a Popeye spinach type of steroid that makes them strong but then they go back to being normal (just playing Jimmy). 

Don’t get me wrong, the ladies represented as well and all of her staff was body painted, which was available for all (hairless) attendees.   Lola also has a very capable DJ at her events, DJ Fat Fingaz.  For me this is extremely important.  I will not go to any party or event where I know the music will be wack.  I don’t care how many hot women will be there, I can’t be forced to listen to music I think sucks and if a DJ plays the entire song, they’re doing something wrong.



Trust I will be at the next event Lola invites me too.  Next is Kristin Davis’ campaign fundraiser and an interview with the Madam herself.  A full list of the winners is listed below.



2010 Sybarite Awards

Best Website:
Kasidie.com
Las Vegas

Best New Website:
LoveVooDoo.com
Maryland

Favorite Lifestyle Club:
TABU
Baltimore

Favorite Product:
SYBIAN
Illinois

Party of The Year:
Hot Entourage for- Their NYE 2009 Soiree ‘Corsia Di Amanti’
Florence Italy

Honorable Mention:
SexyValleyGirls
Allentown PA

Favorite On Premise & Off Premise Party:
OneLegUp
NYC

*One Leg Up won in dual categories, which is the first time in Sybarite Awards history anyone was walked away with winning more than one.

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