Industry News

The Colonel on Conspiracy

New Porn Order

Op/Ed by The Colonel


The word ‘Conspiracy’ comes from Latin word ‘Conspirare’ meaning to breathe together. In contemporary English, ‘Conspiracy’ is often used in describing the act of a number of people gathering in order to plan a certain agenda, whether economic or political, religious, social, etc. In that aspect, any meetings between the government leaders, the CEOs of multi-national corporations, religious figures and such can be considered a ‘Conspiracy’.

However, in years after The World War II, the word ‘Conspiracy’ has been almost always associated with harmful, malignant, selfish plots forced upon the many by a chosen few. One important thing to consider is that not all conspiracies are necessarily well thought and well executed and quite successful. On the contrary, many conspiracies are the last resorts of those in desperate fear of losing power and wealth; and as a result those conspiracies turn out to be quick fixes that in the long run create more problems than solutions. For instance think about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Watergate incident, 9/11 attacks, the military invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq, all of which have pushed America and eventually the world further down the downward spiral. 

Right now, perhaps the conspiring elites know better than anybody else that if anything, the clausterfuck they created has taken them further away from their Utopia and their century’s long agenda ‘New World Order’ seems like a dream that will never come true. But they still keep on clinging to their worn out methods, because after all, when you strip the elites from all the mystique and power and wealth, underneath it all they’re ordinary human beings with the same diseases as anybody else: Greed, paranoia, and an obsession with controlling and dominating others and dictating them how to live their lives. That obsession with control is at the heart of every conspiracy, old and new, large and small, domestic and universal throughout the human history; and now it has affected The Porn Valley, what I’d like to call: The Condom Conspiracy.

There’s a small group of bored housewives, retired senior citizens, media watchdogs, religious nut jobs and lunatic white supremacists, completely divorced from the reality of the American adult industry in particular and pornography in general. These people are convinced that if somehow the troubled government of The United States and the bankrupt state of California put aside all their essential priorities and worries and instead obsess over a relatively small group of California residents who fuck on film for a living and monitor and regulate the activities of that small group and twist their arms and force them to wear condoms while fucking on film, then it will eventually make the production of pornographic scenes in California difficult and will bring down the evil that is the adult industry.

This ‘New Porn Order Conspiracy’, if you will, is extremely short sighted, ludicrous and as impossible as The New World Order dream of the elites. Allow me to explain:

Today, The U.S economy is in its deepest crisis since the great depression, bankruptcy, unemployment, foreclosure, etc. are skyrocketing, the political scene is corrupted and more divided than ever, two seemingly endless wars are devouring the country’s budget and resources, education and health care are down the drain, the entire system is broken beyond repair. America, land of the free, home of the brave is severely and seriously fucked up, the politicians have too many major issues to handle; and yet this chain of fools consisting of obese housewives and demented retired morons and Jesus freaks and Confederate flag waving imbeciles think the world is as small as their bubble, and everybody in this bubble has as much spare time as they have, and everybody is obsessed with whatever they’re obsessed with. So they throw their little conspiracy meetings at the kitchen of their retirement homes and during their Bible study sessions to plan their pathetic crusade; and next thing you see is a letter they sent to various government and state departments to complain about the testing procedures in the adult industry and the lack of condom on porn sets. Little do they know their letter will be disregarded and buried under tons of complaints, demands and requests from various interest groups and lobbyists in a secretary’s drawer, probably filed under L for ‘Ludicrous’ or U for ‘Unimportant’. That’s right, play it again, Sam.

Now for the sake of an evening’s entertainment, let’s raise the stakes and consider the implausible scenario: Somehow, through some divine miracle The U.S government and the state of California will get involved in monitoring and regulating the adult industry, make the use of condoms mandatory and spend millions of dollars in policing the industry and every single porn set to make sure everybody wears condom, the condom does not break during the anal pounding,  no bodily fluid is exchanged and no drop of cum is wasted. Let’s take it further and assume this policing will eventually make production of porn in California so difficult that many producers will be forced to leave The Golden State and set up shops elsewhere, in other states. The Shakespeare question is: So fucking what? In the big picture and on the grand skim of things, how will that change the act of making and distributing pornographic scenes and the habit of viewing them in the digital age? What differs a pornographic scene shot in California from the other shot in New York, Florida, Nevada, etc? The truth is obsession with depicting the sexual acts is embedded in human consciousness, and its roots go back to the ancient times: The paintings on the Roman walls, the Indian book of Kamasutra, Japanese Shunga images and so on. Pornography in terms of depicting two or more people having sex is boundless, timeless and universal. It’s not something that can be monitored and controlled; it predates any and all religions, and will continue to exist as long as humans occupy this planet. Long after all the churches in the world all crashed and burnt, and long after every smut peddler in this tiny corner of planet known as California is dead and gone, all it takes for pornography to go on and continue to survive is two naked people, fucking in front of a camera set up on a tripod, broadcasting their home made video for free via the internet throughout the entire world. Regulate that, if you can.

So as you see, all the daydreaming and wishful thinking and personal agendas aside, pornography is the true untamed beast, the beast that will forever adopt, evolve and survive, as an obsession as well as a profession. The adult industry in 2010 is not what it was in 2000, and in 2020 it won’t be what it used to be in 2010. The traditional methods of content delivery are collapsing and becoming obsolete, replaced by the satellite and the world wide web. Those who keep up with the pace and embrace the changes and take advantage of them will survive while others fall. One thing that every experienced producer will tell you is that there is no such thing as a common formula in the adult industry. Everybody conduct their business differently and according to their specific connections, resources, etc. I started in this industry three decades ago, first as a performer, then as a director for hire and finally as a producer. I’ve seen how the adult industry has gone through radical changes, how porn went from an underground obsession to broadcasting award shows on cable channels, and how the method of content delivery went from 8MM reels to DVD and inevitably cyberspace. The most significant lesson I learned from my long journey was that you must be willing to accept the changes and get in tune with the market and the technology; otherwise you’ll be over and out before you know it. I’ll give you an example:

When the decline of DVD market started around 2005-06, I realized we must prepare ourselves and think of actual, viable solutions. Some of my colleagues were still hopeful, convincing themselves that the market will eventually weed itself out and profits will return. By 2008, DVD market was on its deathbed, and everybody was either out of the business or accepted the fact that things will never be the same. I’ve been financing and producing content since 1994; and I must say 2008 was the worst financial year for me with profits down almost %50 due to declining wholesale prices, the slow process of collecting royalties from the adult stores and vendors and the rampant online piracy. By the end of 2008, it became clear to me that if I don’t take action and don’t make changes in my production procedure, I’ll be out of business by 2009. My goal was to break away from DVD market, invest less on that media and focus on the alternate sources of revenue including licensing scenes to various companies, VOD broadcasts, clip sales, etc. I, along with several other producers, decided to reduce our monthly DVD releases from 2 per month to 1, reduce the number of scenes per each hardcore title from 5 or 6 to 4, and reduce the talent fee and overall production budget. I admit some changes were radical, but ultimately the new strategy paid off, and throughout 2009 I saw a slow but steady recovery. Recently I signed contract with some European adult cable channel which broadcasts hardcore porn 24/7. According to this new contract, I provided them with my entire catalogue; and beginning in April, my every new title will be available on their channel the same day as DVD release. I’m also planning on exploring new territories including live broadcast, filming in 3D, etc. Things will eventually change and improve if you plan precisely and be persistent. 

Back to the subject of conspiracies, another ‘Porn Conspiracy’, and I refer to it as ‘Conspiracy’ for lack of a better word, is exposing the identity of yours truly, The Colonel. LIB policies prohibit bloggers and commentators from using names of those adult industry workers who use stage names. However, with special thanks to LIB editor and my friend Cindi, I’ll make an exception in this article; because this issue must be addressed once and for all.  First, I have to say the identity of a middle age smut peddler who writes articles and commentaries on an internet web site in his spare time should be the least of anybody’s concern.  I could never understand that obsession, and probably I never will. To my friends and colleagues who knew me and worked with me for years, The Colonel is the guy they have beer with at his house at Hollywood, to the ordinary readers of LIB and other adult news/gossip web sites and forums, The Colonel is an offensive blogger with a nasty temper and a love for rock music, classic movies and The X-Files; while to a small group of obsessive/compulsive fanboys turned psycho cyber journalists,  creeps, loners and  failure-as-a-human trolls, The Colonel is an enigma wrapped in mystery. That’s fine, like Arlington Steward says in the movie The Box: I like mystery. Still, what baffles me is the depth of their ignorance about all things porn and the fact that none of them are in the adult industry and have no connections with anybody in this industry; and they don’t even do a basic online research to know the basic facts before conducting their big foot theories, either; although like all big foot theories, some are better and more entertaining than others.  Over the years, many people have been under suspicion of being The Colonel. Some theories at LIB, ADT, XPT, GFY, etc. suggest that The Colonel is Michael Payne AKA Michael Putin at Seven Silver Keys Productions, or Reverend Sandy at Immoral Productions, or performer/director/agent Roy Garcia, etc. These theories are fine and dandy, except for the fact that these guys are relatively new comers and foreigners, they started in the adult industry sometime around the late 1990s/early to mid 2000s, and they’re all in their mid to late 30’s. I was born and raised in a Jewish/Catholic family in Brighton Beach, New York, U.S.A, I started in the adult industry around the late 1970’s, and as for my age, let’s just say I’m slightly older than the aforementioned guys.

As an individual and as a blogger, I reserve the right to write under any name I want, for as long as I want. I don’t want anything from anybody, and I don’t owe anything to anybody. Take it or leave it. Period. To those Sherlock Holmes/ Paparazzi wannabes who have nothing better to do with their lives except for obsessing over who is who and who does what, I urge you to improve your big foot theories, back them up with as much solid explanation, credible evidence and reliable fact as you can and post your tell-all exposes all over the internet in as many news/gossip web sites and message forums as you can. Blow it wide open, or just skip the hard work and blow your heads up. See what you’re going to change and see who gives a fuck about you. In the meantime, quit jerking off and try to get a life.

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