What… the… fuck! Damn you Jennifer Love Hewitt! Damn your sparkly, trend setting ways. Look what you’ve gone and done!
Yep – thanks to that prissy bitch, we all know what women will do this summer (and I doubt any guy is happy about it). I personally can’t believe this is a THING! I mean, as a dude, would you want a girls’ crystallized va-jay-jay rubbing and grinding on your junk?? I can picture it now… “Hey honey, I need you to shift to your right, the glare from those damn crystals is BLINDING ME!“.
I can’t help but wonder if this is the female equivilent of a guy getting a teardrop tattooed on his face or some shit. Also, if a girl you’re seeing is going through that much trouble to make things sparkly down there – you gotta question how many friends and associates exactly are gonna see that work of art!? Because, buddy, I doubt you’re the only one that’s gonna be hunting for treasure, and that’s a problem.
Apparently you can get this “disco ball in your crotch” done for about $50, and it’ll last 5 days before the “adhesive” wears off (that’s 5 days too many in my opinion). My final question is, what happens if you sprout pubic hair too fast and you end up with a big itchy, crystally mess? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
The best part about this entire endeavor is that Jennifer actually vajazzled CONAN O’BRIEN’S FACE! LOVELY! She also talks about handjobs. You can see it right here: