Now for a bit of fun. We, here at Porn.com have been racking our brains to come up with some ideas for what we can get our significant others tomorrow for Valentine’s Day and we think we came up with a few winners!
In order to keep the festivities alive and properly themed with tomorrow’s most anticipated cam show to date, (did I mention it’s free?) we came up with some Nick Manning merch only available here in the Porn.com virtual store that doesn’t even exist. (Meaning, all this stuff you see is fake, so don’t ask us about any of them!)
First off, you can surprise your loved one with her very own, all new “Nick Manning: Dropping Fucking Loads On Cum Receptacle Bitches, Talking Action Figure!!!” Just Pull the string and watch him go! He says over 50 of the craziest shit you’d never have the balls to say yourself! So this Valentine’s Day, let Nick Manning do the talking for you! Just pull the string and hear the vulgarity spew out of “the greatest stud of all time!”
Just some of the phrases you’ll hear are:
-”Dropping Fucking Loads All Over Your Fucking Faces!”
-”Choke On It!”
-”Stick Your Fingers In Your Cunt!”-Fuck Yourself!”
-Don’t Hear Any Lip You 18 Year Old Eager Little Slut!”
If a talking action figure isn’t your thing this year, you can always go with a more traditional V-Day gift. (No, not herpes you silly goof.) Nick Manning Milk Chocolates! Not for the faint of heart, these traditional milk chocolates are boxed in a custom sewn case with only the best hand stitched phrases that Nick Manning coined himself. Just like this one. Imagine your girlfriend’s eyes widen to mass size this year, when she unwraps this gift? “Cock Goblin Bitch” Chocolates. She’ll eat the whole damn box, guaranteed!
Now maybe your girlfriend isn’t the chocolate type of girl? Maybe she just doesn’t like the taste of milky, creamy filling drizzling down her throat after gently nibbling on a nicely sized piece of chocolate. Maybe all she wants is a little chalk dust, after she bites in to a hard (but not that hard) candy shell casing like these heart shaped, V-Day chalk hearts. Nothing says “I love you” more than a piece of candy with the words “Choke On It.” She’ll be so impressed!
OK, so maybe treats and sweets just aren’t for her. Maybe she’s sick of you calling her fat, only to complicate her life a little more by providing her chocolates. We get it. No problem. Maybe she’s the poetic type? Maybe all she really cares about is a beautiful hand picked V-Day card, and some cheap flowers. Well do we have the V-Day cards for you! The all new Nick Manning Valentine’s Day Cards brought to you by Porn.com! These will guarantee one of two things. You will get laid, or you will get slapped. One or the other, but if she’s familiar with Nick Manning, she’ll just be thankful you’re not the one saying it. Let’s be honest, no one can deliver Nick’s lines better than Nick. There is a reason, he’s the fucking man.