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Vaniity talks about Substance Abuse Problem

Vaniity writes

Current mood:  focused
Category: Life

OK, this is it… I really wont be checking in for a while from here and on. I need to focus on my life and healing, I also need to go about how best to treat my substance abuse problem… I know the help is there and I am reaching out my hand… I know it’s either that or I lose my self. It is hard… addiction surfaces in many aspects… as you know attention is another one of my obvious addictions, though I bask in it and love it, I have to step away from the spot light for a moment.

It is shameful for me at times to say that I am still suffering from this, and though I have made sooooooooooo much progress from the first times I shared this “secret” with you, still I have much work to do.

I do not want to live in depression, I want to walk with my head held high, proud to know that I beat this malidy… I want nothing in my being that makes me feel like I want to die and there have been many a day that I have even asked God to remove me form this earth… You may ask “why?” and I don’t have a clear reason other than I have been hurt a lot in my life, it’s hard to trust people and for some reason God wants me to experience this lesson in this life time… I know he only bestowes us with stuff WE CAN handle…

I think this will be true test where I can really prove to my self that I can be a Wonder Woman…

I know many of you have tried to contact me lately, have reached out to me and I AM SO GRATEFUL, I know you’ve tried to call my last phone number, but it’s gone.

Today my focus is health, my love Danny, my dogs and mainly my connection to God…

I have even been distant with my family, yet I know they understand that it’s not because I don’t love them, they know my heart is always with them and what I wish for them and I… nothing but love, blessings, prosperity, health and togetherness…

It is sooo hard to let go of MySpace for a while… hehe I am addicted to all of you!haha….

Your friend always,
Dealilah Kotero (Vaniity)

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