When you get up to your naughty business, it’s not often you think about whether the thing you’re doing is legal. Everyone sort of assumes that, unless you’re making snuff films or fucking a corpse, you’re safe in your bed (or on the couch, or in the shower, or up against that wall) from the long arm of the law. And that may be true! Unless you own two dildos in Arizona…or you try to kiss for more than five minutes in Iowa.
Weird sex laws are (mostly) arbitrary and (almost) everywhere, and for the most part, they’re largely unenforced. I mean, I seriously doubt that police are breaking down people’s doors in Mississippi for teaching someone what polygamy is. Not showing them…teaching. And I’m willing to bet that just about everyone in New Jersey has flirted at some point, don’t you?
In North Carolina, it is illegal to pretend to be married in order to share a hotel room, and in Ohio you cannot solicit sex from another person of the same gender if it offends the second person. Imagine that conversation:
“Hey, um, are you gay?”
“Oh good. So, wanna fuck?”
It’s not quite as bad as a law in South Dakota, where public erections are illegal – not a good outlook for pubescent boys. Or in Tennessee, where students may not hold hands in school…although, if what I’ve heard from my younger cousins is true, students these days are doing a lot more in school than just holding hands. And I’m pretty sure the police don’t give a damn.
While most of these laws are archaic and cause us to giggle at their sheer absurdity, it’s important to understand that these laws were once, probably, enforced. They were put in place to preserve common decency, and some were not so weird (like illegal necrophilia). Yes, it’s a little weird that they had to create a law so people wouldn’t fuck corpses, and that’s perhaps a bit weirder than the law itself. And I occasionally wonder why six dildos is the legal limit in Texas. But take solace in the fact that these laws are rarely (if ever) enforced, and that you can comfortably buy a sex toy in Nevada without being thrown behind bars.
This was an interesting look at strange US sex laws, but there are so many others from all over the world. Have any you want to share with us? Tell us on Twitter @worldsbestporn Be sure to follow us to keep up-to-date on porn news!