What do women want for valentine’s day?

Everyone thinks of Valentine differently. Some people think of it as flowers, chocolates, and champagne. To me, it is everyone doing what they think is nice to the people they love.  And what is a nice thing to do for someone you love? Buy them gifts of course. But is that all women want on Valentine’s Day?

So, what do women really want on Valentine’s Day? Well, they just want a few easy (read NOT easy) things. But if you do them properly, they may be the difference between you having an unforgettable Valentine’s Day and making your relationship even better than you imagined it could be.

You may want to email this article to your girlfriend or whoever to see whether she approves. You may get yourself some bonus points in the process. And because I can already feel your anticipation, let’s get started.

To be desired

You may not know it, but your wife thinks you have sex with her because she is available and that she is the only option. To her, desire is a lot more different to just sex. She wants you to put in a lot of effort to woo her as if you are meeting up for the first time to show that you really want her and only her. Just like in those movies she so likes to watch, and you so much hate.

Spend time with her

No, not necessarily in an expensive restaurant or in a beach in Brazil (although this might depend on the woman). They just want you to chill out and talk. Beware, just spending time with her is not enough, but the worst thing you can do is spend time with her grudgingly. Don’t go home and tell her you came home early because your boss is not around and you figured you did not want to stay in the office.

You should probably tell her things like “There was this work happy hour, but I came home because I’d rather hang out with you.” You have to show that you prioritize hanging out with her and nothing else. And before I forget, hanging out with her also means FORGETTING your smartphone.

Get off your phone

Pay close attention. Women hate it when you are NOT PAYING attention. Staying on your phone while the two of you are hanging out together is the worst thing you can do. Hell, you may even get cockblocked for that. A woman’s happiness is equal to her perception of you paying attention. So, get off your phone and replace happiness with sex.

They want you to be vulnerable

Women hate it when you act all macho. They want you to be at least susceptible to something. Don’t tell her things like ‘anything ever stresses me out.’ I mean, most of the time you are fine, and nothing bothers you, but if you are going to act like you never struggle with any negative emotion, any insecurity, or any weakness in any regard, you are going to be pretty off-putting to interact with. If your wife/partner tells you something negative about herself, she will feel ashamed if you don’t empathize, if all you do is solve the problem or feel sorry for her. You need to be vulnerable so she can take care of you. That way, she will feel like she has an important role to play in your life.

Pick them over everyone

Your woman wants to feel like if a push came to shove, you would pick her side regardless of who is on the other side. She wants you to pick her over your parents or friends, or the kids. If she firmly believes that to be the case, she will never raise the issue with you. If she quarreled with her mom, for instance, she would expect you to be on her side. Forget the expensive gifts and flowers for a second, if she feels supported and loved, the rest can follow.

Create a world of romantic closeness

Forget Valentine’s; women want you to create a special time and place for them almost every day. That may not be possible, which is understandable. What may be less understandable is that women like to be on a romantic virtual island before they think of what you are after, namely, sex. How are you going to go about achieving that bubble of love?

Reminisce about special moments in your relationship, for example, the time you first met. You may tell her what you first thought of her, use jokes, talk about the future (immediate and long-term) and use endearments. Trust me; she won’t be thinking about no goddamn flowers.

Be nice and honest

Make no mistake; this doesn’t mean that you agree with everything she says. If a woman wants your opinion on what she should do, be honest, but also be kind. If she hasn’t asked you, of course, don’t advise her. You are not her father. Women get easily put off by an arrogant guy who acts like he knows it all.  Also if you are a liar who agrees with everything she says to stay off her case. She won’t like that either.


Guys, those are some of the things that women want in their relationship, on Valentine’s Day and any other day. If you stepped up your game on one of the above things, you probably had a very good Valentines. If you didn’t, you probably ruined it already. Don’t forget to forget your smartphone because if you do maybe, just maybe, she will be thinking of how to make you happy.

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