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World Cup Celibacy

“Playing the field” takes on different meaning when it comes to Fùtbol (AKA soccer for us westerners). For World Cup star teams such as Russia, Mexico and Bosnia, that’s exactly what they’ll be doing – kicking a ball around a field, rather than sticking their dicks in Brazilian sluts. OH WHAT A WORLD! ?

Check out what retired NBA star Reggie Miller has to say on the subject:

Here’s the teams that must abstain from any sexual encounters throughout the tournament:

  • Russia
  • Chile
  • Mexico
  • Bosnia-Herzegovina (masturbation is deemed okay, though!)

Costa Rica is only allowed sex as a prize if they reach the second round (LOL), and the Nigerian team is only allowed sex with their WIVES! (but not girlfriends, wtf?)


And now… some direct quotes from coaches regarding their teams sexual endeavours:

“They can find another solution, they can even masturbate if they want. I am not interested what the other coaches do. This is not a holiday trip: We are there to play football at the World Cup.” – Safet Susic of Bosnia

“If a player can’t go one month or 20 days without having sexual relations, then they are not prepared to be a professional player. Forty days of sexual abstinence isn’t going to hurt anybody.” – Miguel Herrera of Mexico

 

Perhaps the funniest quote comes from Brazil’s manager:

“The players can have normal sex during the World Cup. Usually normal sex is done in a balanced way but some like to perform acrobatics. We will put limits and survey the players.” –​ Luiz Felipe Scolari of Brazil

no_sex

TheScore.com provides some interesting facts regarding the World Cup sex, which I’ll summarize here:

  1. Croation men in general would rather watch soccer than have sex – we’re talking 9 out of 10!
  2. Bosnia will allow “other forms of stimulation” other than sex
  3. USA is real casual about the whole ordeal, because banning sex would just be undemocratic!
  4. Science says it actually doesn’t make a difference whether you get your fuck on or not

 

So what do you think? Should athletes be free to do as they please, similar to the many Olympic sex scandals that have taken place? Or is the World Cup just too important of an ordeal to risk losing? They both come around every 4 years, so I say FUCK IT! LET ‘EM FUCK!

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