Industry News

XPT Week In Review

Raoul Duke posts:
Hi folks. The Fatman, back from Europe, is having his entire apartment renovated. In what little spare time he has, he’s helping Conky with the XPT Awards on a dying PC. So, at the suggestion of a few posters, I’ve agreed to fill in until Fatty’s world returns to “normal”. Kind of a slow week, so let’s get started:

TRADE TALKS GRIND TO HALT: The Fantasy Porn Forum (FPF) trade talks ground to a halt this week, due to lack of interest. Despite the best efforts of Southern Gentleman Bornyo, it ultimately proved impossible to pry the Fanboys of ADT away from their groveling long enough to conduct negotiations. XPT wins by default.

PHOTO FUNNIES: Holly Randall posts some hilarious BTS shots of Suze’s Studios. Conky provides comic captions, and shows us the lighter side of bad photography in the Luke’s Camera of Death series.

A NASTY BUSINESS: Houston Don debates Mike South over John T. Bone, 2257 and the Atomic Punk Fiasco. Also under debate: Who’s the bigger idiot. This appears to be a grudge match, folks, so stay tuned. The last word has yet to be heard.

MISSING IN ACTION: Despite earnest entreaties, Suburban Wigger Terrorist Guapo still has not returned to the XPT Fold, even blowing off the De’Bella chat. While he has been spotted lurking, it’s been weeks since he’s made a post. Rumor has it that he’s wanted for questioning in a vandalism spree that includes the defacement of Baby G’s avatar. Also missing in action: Harvard Alumni Jamesn and Daaaa Burglar have been strangely quiet throughout most of this week. Conspiracy theorists have taken note.

WELCOME BACK: Gen Padova returns after a few weeks away. Gen is responsible for one of my favorite XPT pics; the so-called “Anal Orange.” Hope you enjoyed it, wherever you were. In less welcome news, a poster claiming to be Darth made an appearance this weekend and was roundly ignored by most posters. The majority of PMs received by Week In Review suggest that this may be a Mod pulling a gag.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ: The flame war between Have2Cit and LouCypher has officially been declared the Slowest and Most Boring Knife Fight in XPT History. In H2C’s defense, he’s posting all the way from Japan, and yet is somehow still able to make timely posts. Hmmmmmmm…

DEVIL IN THE DETAILS: Church of Satan priest Shane Bugbee defends his opus, Club Satan. For those of you unfamilliar with Bugbee’s masterpiece, it depicts, amongst other things, multiple ejaculation upon a statue of Christ. Most posters remain unimpressed.

WHAT’S A WEEK WITHOUT SKURT?: New York Legal Eagle Moxie, the man who brought you Porn Anagrams and Take a Porn Star to Work, blogs this week about XPT’s favorite Twink, Skurt Lackwood. CLICKY. Moxie compares his feeble assault upon Gram Ponante to a long-ago riot on New York’s Astor Place. His investigation into the Kira Kenner lawsuit proceeds apace, as he dives into mountains of affidavits and depositions.

IT’S THE CLIENT, STUPID!: Monstar schools newbies (and some people who should really know better) on the fine art of Public Relations. Lesson No. 1: Put the client’s interests before your own.

IMUS? WHO’S IMUS?: Willie D creates XPT’s Official Directory of Nappy Headed Hoes. No comment as yet from Al Sharpton’s National Action Network.

THE ROSE KNOWS: The exquisite (and newly sober) Mia Rose adds to her extensive collection of photos with some new shots, including one contortionist configuration dubbed by DanG., and hereinafter known as, “The Mia Rose Pose.” Outstanding.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: Soopergrizz posts that a Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal. The man was also forced to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to the Goat’s Owner.

And That’s the Week In Review.

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